I'm really quite speechless... I can't say I know what to say. The one thing that does stick out in my mind, was the fact that you were man enough to admit your mistakes and that you were wrong... not an easy task for anyone to do, even on the internet. I'm sure we've all said one thing or another that offended someone at one point in time... intentional or not... but it's the people that can actually admit that they were wrong that seem to gain at least a partial amount of the respect that they may have lost, back. With all your family issues, medical issues, and even mental issues... I wish I would be able to say "I know where you're coming from"... but I don't know if I could comprehend and actually deal with what happened to you, should it ever occur to myself. Hell, I consider it shitty that I lost my job (owner shut the store down without notice) and then getting rear-ended in a car accident, and being piss broke to top it all off. But my situation wasn't anything close to what you have gone through. When dealing with stress... we say a lot of shit we don't mean, myself included... but hell, no one's perfect. I can't say I really ever read posts as long as the one you wrote... but I did take the time to read every word you wrote in the post... for the sole fact... that it was serious, down to earth... and something I felt that needed to be read. I doubt many of us have gone through the ordeal that you have... let alone how fast and quickly all your problems had arose. I am happy to hear that no one was killed in the car accident, and I truly do hope that you recover back to 100% and hope that things start to go right in your life once more. I hope everything works out for you, and on top of that... hope you continue to post on the forums... because there aren't very many people that speak from the heart on the forums.... whatever the outcome... I wish you the very best.