For anyone who is married/divorced!

[Fengzi]

First time was a nightmare. I was 19 and she was 18. We met because her best friend was my best friend's girlfriend. They wanted us to get together and after spending so much time around each other it just sort of happened. After a year her family moved away so we decided to get an apartment together. Two years later we got married, mostly because it just seemed the thing to do. I don't think either of us really wanted to but after three years together, well... we were stupid. We were both working and going to school full time and really didn't spend any time together. This probably helped us stay together for as long as we did. It wasn't good and the small amount of time we actually had together was usually spent fighting. After two years she moved out and we were "seperated"

About six or seven months after my first wife and I had seperated I met a wonderful woman who I was instantly drawn to. Fortunately she felt the same. If there really is such a thing as "love at first sight" this was it. I didn't want to have another realtionship, especially since I was still technically married, but I just knew this was the woman I was meant to be with for the rest of my life. Within two months I had started to finalize my divorce and start planning my new wedding. Everyone thought I was crazy, including myself, but I didn't care.

That was more than 9 years ago and I still fell the same about my second wife as I did the day I married her. We have a wonderful two year old daughter and really couldn't be happier. I know 100% that my decision was the right one even though it was a bit hasty.


I've always wondered how divorce rates compare for those couples that get married right away, say within 6-12 months after meeting, and those who marry several years after getting together. I'm sure a lot those ones year hear about who drive to Las Vegas the night of their first daye have a high failure rate. But the ones like me and my wife, who feel so strongly after one or two months, I'd bet the rate is actually pretty low. What do you think??

Fengzi Reviewed by Fengzi on 12-01-2005. For anyone who is married/divorced! How long were you together before you married? How long have you been/were you married? If divorced, would you still consider your marriage a success? This is for an essay I am writing for school. Thank you. :) Rating: 5

[Zandor]

this site is seen more by kids,we as adults do not joke about ? our spouses,i go overboard calling names .but saying what he said is way out of line

Dude read it again, it was a statement of FACT not a threat. Murder brings less time behind bars then I have been married. FACT

You don't know me but you are judgine me based on what your messed up point of view. You were only married for a year or so. You have no cule about me and you have no room to talk at all.

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!

jk at the end means Just kidding you stupid fuck!!!!!

PISS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[friendowl]

wow such hostility its true what they say marijuanos have the hottest tempers.me i am 28 years young i got three children from three ladies.i take care of them all financially and physically.i am very busy.they are 9,step daughter is 8 my baby girl 20 months and my boy 12 months.i am with my baby girls mom know and things are hard on us cuz i got her friends lil sister pregnant.shes 24.anyways she forgave me and we are trying to get on.the weed really helps mellow her out when she has flasbacks.

[w4terb0ng]

- Divorced... (well, i'm working on it)

we met right after she graduated highschool. i was 18, she was 19.

we dated for a few months, she got pregnant.

we got married right away (thought it was the "right" thing to do)

we were married for almost 4 years.

waaaay too many differences to keep things civil.

i got 2 wonderful children out of it all though, so it wasn't a COMPLETE waste of life.

[Nochowderforyou]

this site is seen more by kids,we as adults do not joke about ? our spouses,i go overboard calling names .but saying what he said is way out of line

What?! Man, don't be such a prude, it was a joke. If you want to blame someone about fuckin kids up these days, just turn on your television on primetime evening TV. CSI for example.

Maybe music. Eminem, who I hate, talked about killing his wife all the time...blame him.

It's his ex-wife, and who the fuck are you to tell him what he can and cannot say? You don't like it, too bad. You can't save every kid in this world. Lighten up you tight ass.

[FunkyMonkey]

wow.

anyhow, to the question. I met mine when she was married. She left her husband and wanted me. I ran scared because I had no intention of splitting up a family. A few years later when I was confidant they were not going to reconcile we started dating. She moved in and 2 yrs later our son was born. 2 years after that we seperated and are going through a nasty ass custody battle.
Would I consider it a success? Hard to say. I found love, she found love , we shared and grew together, the children fluorished, we created a son. But, we broke down, bitterness and resentment set in , and we eroded .
We had a beautiful boy so that was a success , but we are no able to provide a traditional home for him so that was a failure.

[Green Love]

married and divorced after 5yrs, and were still friends, lol

[Roadking]

Met my first wife in a country-western bar. She has three daughters from three different fathers. One was a drug smuggler who vanished. Another killed himself.
And another comes and goes without being responsible.
We had a son together and became involved with Christianity for a few years until she ran off with a self-proclaimed minister...but not before I beat him silly for abusing my kid. The marriage lasted six years. She has now been married four or five times.
The woman I'm married to now, I met in a coffee shop. We've been together for fifteen years, thirteen of them married. She has thre daughters and a son...all from the same father. He passed on a couple of years ago, possible drug overdose.
I consider both marriages to be learning experiences, successful or not.
If you manage to hold your individuality through a marriage, you're doing good.

"But from the beginning of the creation, God â??made them male and female.â?? â??For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one fleshâ??; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separateâ?�"
- Mark 10:6-9

Like I said, holding on to your individuality through this isn't easy. But, I feel that it's truly neccessary to do so in order to make a strong "one."

(my two cents)

[powair]

Wow thank you everyone!

To the person who said something along the lines or how could a divorce be considered a success, that is sort of the premise of the essay. The average length of marriages in north america is less than 5 years, but yet, many people ARE considering their marriages that end in divorce a learning experience and end with no hostility. They consider them a success.

[bonsaiguy]

we met in a bar and dated for about 1 1/2 years. Married 25 years...3 kids all planned. (no accidents)
and I suspect we will be married a long long time. I would say that if we divorced the marriage would have been a failure since it's supposed to be for life as opposed to those hollywood types who put a hash mark on the ass for every time they marry. Obviously the Jens and Brads and all the rest of them have no clue what marriage means. It's a big commitment and requires a lot of thought and compromise although most of us don't think that hard about it. Then we get to learn the hard way.
We had our moments when we did the counseling thing for a while as well. But all worked out. Then again, we never ever said we would never ever divorce. We always knew that would be stupid. (not a big believer in absolutes) Would I do it again if we did divorce? Probably not. One lifetime commitment per lifetime is plenty.