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11-29-2005, 07:00 AM #6Senior Member
hanging yourself while high?
Originally Posted by Openmind559
well man I know you're pretty set on it, and while I can offer my help I'm not gonna give you the old cliche's about life being worth living and such. rather, I think we should analyse this from a more objective and wide-spectrumed view. I'm 20 years old right now, and I definately want to live, but from ages 14-17 I contemplated suicide constantly. even from 18-19 I had the odd thoughts. not because I couldnt' take the suffering so much (and I think many people wouldn't have been able to), I just started to think there wasn't really any reason to push on.
I know what it's like, it feels like every day is the same shit and every time you wake up you just have to face it again. you try, you push, you hope and hope for the better future, but it never comes. But, and here's why I never went through with it, I eventually realized there is much more to it all, but in your present state it's near impossible to see it.
first of all let me tell you that it makes a big difference when you get out of high school and grow up, stop living as a kid, stop living under oppression. and whether or not it's a justifiable evil, all the limits set to you by society, parents, family, respect for you, are a form of oppression. when you grow up, move out, and explore yourself further you will discover that there's something to life more than you could contemplate before. There is a way out of such a miserable existence, but don't expect to be able to see it now.
Now personally, I found buddhism and it changed my life. I may have my off days/moments, but I'm making progress every day in my mental and physical developement. please keep in mind these aren't the words of a religious fundamentalist pushing the truth of his lord. I learned that buddhism isn't really a religion as it's classified, but a philosophy that proves true more and more as you study and practice it more deeply. There is no worship, there is no promise of heaven or hell, no punishment or reward (though western society misconstrues the concept of karma as such). The study of this philosophy enables you to see the true nature of reality in remarkable clarity, perfect clarity should one attain enlightenment. The entire basis for it is the complete and utter end of all suffering.
The four noble truths analyse the causes of suffering much as a physician would a disease.
1. The defining characteristic of life is suffering. (Identification of symptoms)
2. There is a cause of suffering. that being craving, clining, ignorance, and aversion (identification of cause) Note: this becomes much more clear through study.
3. There is a way towards the total ceasation of suffering. the extinction of craving, attachment, ignorance, and aversion. (identification of needed remedy)
4. The way to achieve this is through the eightfold noble path. the path itself is only the root, such as "right understanding" or "right awareness". each of the eight factors has a deep explanation on accomplishing them in themselves. (method of treatment)
I don't expect you to accept this at face value, but at least consider that there is an achievable state of being the likes of which you never knew existed, and it is by no means out of reach. every day of practice and study towards understanding brings inmeasurable rewards. at first you will feel that you need to make sacrifice, but soon enough will realize that nothing has been sacrificed and everything gained. and after all, everything is sacrificed in death, so you really have nothing to lose.
if you need to talk, please feel free to e-mail me [email protected]
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