When I was younger there was always a crowd of US. As I got older this one went this way, that one went that until it was just a few of us left. Now there are about 5 people in the crowd and even so we dont all hook up anymore. I see this one or that one here or there. We try to keep in touch, but the fact is life happens. Sometimes I think theyre jerks and leave me out of things, but usually that is just me feeling sorry for myself for some really stupid reason. Friends change and grow and leave the group and sometimes wander in and out of our lives.

Its a societal defect. 30 years ago people stayed put and there was a kind of loyalty that is gone in todays world. Sometimes it makes you angry when it seems everyone is going in 10 different diections at once and you arent one of those directions. My own thoughts tend to run towards feeling that people no longer know how to be real friends. Society has evolved into a personally self centered culture and those outside of their 3 foot personal air space dont matter as much as themselves. Its sad to see. In the 60's and 70's everyone loved each other, now everyone is out for themselves and are full of anger and hate. Those fucked up reality show are representative of todays morality. People climbing over the backs of others to get ahead and "fuck you if you dont like it cause you dont matter."

Its such a "busy" world. I just had dangerous major surgery and not one of my "friends" has stopped by to see me, they have called to say how "busy" they have been. WTF? I guess I'm old school, someone I care about is down or needs anything, I will drop what I'm doing to be there for them, even knowing its only one sided.
The problem is you care, and I applaud you for it, you have feelings, hold on to that, it makes you a better human.