Bloody stupid school stunts

[Gothen]

Last year, me and 3 friends smoked a bowl in the bathroom right by the commons. We all had to go back to class, and when I went in, I sat in the back. Everyone started sniffing, and they looked back at me and they're like, "Malik, you reek of POT! What did you do!?" I'm like, "Oh fudge!" I go outside to get a drink and try to air out the smell, I have my pipe in my pocket. The teacher wasn't in the room, and wasn't in the hallway.

So, I'm getting a drink and he walks right past me. I see him stop, turn and sniff through the corner of my eye.
Him - "Malik, come here. What were you doing?"
Me - "Nothing. What do you mean?"
Him - "You smell like smoke, and I don't think its cigarettes."
Me - "Yeah, the bathroom smells like it in there, I don't know what happened in there."
Him - "Get back to class."

Later on in the class, I told him I was confused at something. He looked at me and laughed and whispered to me, "Maybe you shouldn't be smoking substances in the bathroom." I was like, "OH SNAP!" But he never did anything.


Then about....2 and a half months ago me and two of my friends were fucking TRASHED. I had had 16 shots of vodka, another friend had 15, and the other had like....12 or 13. So, anyway, its our Senior Bonfire Night. We go out there, we're all TRASHED and we have to piss. We go into the high school, its unlocked even though no one is supposed to be in there. WE go into our auditorium and we're talking, and I'm like...."I have to piss." My other friend, Brian, says, "I have to, too." So he gets up, flops out his dick and starts pissing all over these three seats in the auditorium. I was CRACKIN' UP!!

We've always remembered....Never sit in seats 108, 109, and 110 in the 4th to last row.

[lateralus]

When I was in seventh grade I drank a fifth of E&J in the bathroom and then beat a kid up and pissed on his face. His eyes started burning and I got expelled for that one.

Oh yeah. Forgot to mention drinking at lunchtime. JD's, tequila, Goldshlager, gin, etc. Didn't like drinking back then, though.

[syrrus]

I always wanted to replace the charcoal filters on the water fountains with morning glories, or hawiaiian woodrose seeds.

[somebody someone]

Haha, it's "BOGIES" over here. Dick and Dom (in da' bungalow) started it off

And cook, what the hell compelled you to jack off in a test? haha

actually at my school the word was WANK.

so you are all wrong. including me.