I'm in the same boat (sort of I don't have a shitload of weed to smoke). I'm alone too. My family is freaking out. I'm afraid to tell my friends for fear they will think I'm a drug addict.
Do you have any hobbies, besides growing pot? Mj makes life so much better. It's better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn't understand you. That's a real bad alone feeling.