Top Ten Signs Youre a Christian

[beachguy in thongs]

Fantasize about your God pleasing a woman, and let me know how it goes. Because I have no comments about Jesus Christ, but Jesus Fucken 'H' Christ wants to fuck all your girlfriends, so hand them over to me and I'll keep them safe until your day of reckoning.

beachguy in thongs Reviewed by beachguy in thongs on 11-08-2005. Top Ten Signs Youre a Christian Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian 10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours. 9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt. 8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God. Rating: 5

[Oneironaut]

What the hell are you talking about?

[beachguy in thongs]

The same things as you are, I thought we were on the same track.
Jesus may have been the Son of God, what does that do for me? I'd always thought we were all God's children.

[CocaCola]

Nice list. I really love christians... especially when they tell me what would be right for me. I love that.

[geoffrowley19]

another dick move by "God"- He ordered Abraham to sacrifice his son ontop of that moutain or whatever just to prove that he would do anything for god...what an asshole

[Stoner Shadow Wolf]

REAL christians:

love all things without exception.

permit others to believe anything they want, even though they might constantly tell the truth that everyone attacks as "opinion"; a real christian understands that the "one god" is actually a collective of all, and that we were meant to live as gods on earth; only christ has known this so far... maybe buddah and mohamed...

know that god will never ask of anything but faith.

know that there is no divine reason for reality, it is simply a simple game to keep the mind that is god entertained.

know that the ten commandments are a hint, not a fact.

know that i am actually a weasel with the head and wings of an eagle

okay, that last one might have been bunk, but that doesnt really change anything

given these, other than the weaseagle, how many true christians are there in the world?

im working toward it


but never call me a christian untill the "popular christian" (the top ten reasons given) is extinct. i;ll snap your neck without thinking about it... then i'd feel all bad and self conscious and we just dont need that.

[MudFu]

I am Christian. I believe that Faith and kindness is all I need. Thou I seem to have little Faith since I question the idea of God at times, I still have some. You do not need to know anything about the Bible, or the church or really Christianity itself. I only consider myself Christian because I don't seem to fit in any other religous catagory like jewish or so on. This topic seems to try and make Christians look like they have no respect to others belifes. Well...what respect do you have for us? You can not judge all on a few. And lets not talk about Catholics...they....well....they suck plain and simple. (sorry to catholics, I do not mean you as a person I mean your church). If you want to insult christians try not saying something that makes you look bad...hypocrit

[Ganj]

REAL christians:

love all things without exception.

permit others to believe anything they want, even though they might constantly tell the truth that everyone attacks as "opinion"; a real christian understands that the "one god" is actually a collective of all, and that we were meant to live as gods on earth; only christ has known this so far... maybe buddah and mohamed...

know that god will never ask of anything but faith.

know that there is no divine reason for reality, it is simply a simple game to keep the mind that is god entertained.

know that the ten commandments are a hint, not a fact.

know that i am actually a weasel with the head and wings of an eagle

okay, that last one might have been bunk, but that doesnt really change anything

given these, other than the weaseagle, how many true christians are there in the world?

im working toward it


but never call me a christian untill the "popular christian" (the top ten reasons given) is extinct. i;ll snap your neck without thinking about it... then i'd feel all bad and self conscious and we just dont need that.

i really enjoy reading your spiritualistic insight. just thought i'd tell you that.

[Stoner Shadow Wolf]

thanks, i cant get the music outta my head

[mrdevious]

I sometimes wonder if when Jesus said things like "Here's the true path to god" he just never really thought "what if people take this to such an extreme they'll be convinced everybody else the enemy?"