I think it has a lot to do with self esteem and self control, just because you can doesn't mean you should. Maybe you all should have an open relationship for a while, so you can get it out your system. Maybe you should talk to someone about it learn some self control, but it obviously isn't making you or your family happy an you can't ignore it. good luck with it, I been on the other side, so I don't know what to say.