just talking about it makes it worse. if i went into psychotherapy i'd have a major breakdown or something i bet. i dont even want to think about it.
all my friends keep offering me drugs & stuff (seems like now that i can't do drugs everyone wants to give me some) and i can't take any. then i have to go through all their "yes you can don't be a straight edge" crap all the time.

will i ever be able to take any drugs again because of this? it seems like anything even cigarettes will make it so much worse. i'm on the borderline of insanity all the time it seems just sober.