Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "Just because you fuck a lot of diseased cocks, that doesn't mean you can call yourself the receptionist of a VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Oh really? 'Cause I saw you at Modelling School...I always just figured that you never came back because you're so fat an ugly"

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "Nope, you're wrong. If I sat down, I'd need your seat in order to rest my ginormous penis."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: " I don't know. It would be just as hard to fit ONE person under a rock, don't you think?...idiot."

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: I only gave you two options...and 'both' wasn't one of them...idiot."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man:" Nevermind, I'll probably be able to find it in the Yellow Pages under 'Female Escorts.'"

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: Why was that even a comeback? You're ugly enough as a chick, let alone a GUY...idiot *slap*"

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
Man:"So, pretty much the exact opposite sign as your mother?"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"
Man: "All eggs are unfertilized you fucking moron! After an egg's been fertilized, it's called an embryo...idiot."

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "Awesome, I love lesbians!"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "That's not what I had in mind *punch her in the face*"

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Oh I'm not cheap...I normally charge $200 a night, but for you it would have to be at least $400."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".
Man: Why? OH! I know! Because your dick's bigger than mine you transvesdite!"

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "..temple of DOOM! *rip out her heart*"

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "Gold-digging bitch! *slap*"

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: "That was a trick question...there is no 'end of the world.'
Thanks for saving me the trouble of finding out whether you were a moron or not...idiot."