if you know her number, talk to her and listen to her. Not every crazy ex really is crazy, I know because I've been the "insane ex" before in a very similar situation. If he loves you then he will talk with her on three way so you can listen and tell her that it is over, ect. Whatever you need to make it good. If he loved you, then you would never doubt him because you would know by his actions that he loved you. Looks like his mouth keeps saying I love you, but what he does points straight to loser. You know how to treat someone when you love them, so does he treat you like he loves you?
I would not see him over the holidays if I where you, this guy seems like a serious loser and you deserve better. You can do better, you are worth more, you are a beautiful, intelligent woman, you do not need this dog to drag you down and give you fleas.
Judge a man on his actions, not his words. Stop listening to him, and look at him.