Ok..this is long but I need advice

[KottonMouthSara]

Hey all u stoners...can i just start by saying how much I love this site but not as much as I love the members who make this site what it is..Seriously, u guys are the best...

Ok...secondly I need some major advice...I know I dont personally know any of u guys but I'm too embarrassed to ask people who know me because I feel like i've been such an idiot...So ok, now that I got that out the way, heres the story (dont fall asleep!)

About a year ago I met the perfect guy for me...A couple problems...He lives in the States and i'm here , hes been married and divorced (hes only 26). Well a few months after we met...I start getting messages from his ex wife.. who claims she is still married to him, they still live together and they are still sleeping together.

So I do what any normal girl would...Tell her to shut her mouth...confront him...and we break up for like 2 days. He says he's not still married to her, she got my number from his online telephone bill, he doesn't call her and shes just trying to get him to come back to her.

Well...I believed him...but i was still a little pissed at him as u all could understand. Anyways...we went on holiday together in the summer and I met his family and he met mine and we are planning to get married next summer and all was perfect. Before that he had given me his online messaging password so that I could text him from the internet to save money.

So I got this gut feeling in the summer and I went online to his account (i'm guessing he forgot he gave it to me cuz the next bit wouldn't have happened) I started going through his text messages that he's sent over the internet and I found 2 that he sent to her (I have her number from the previous calls she made to me) Saying how he misses her and cant wait to get back to do all these sordid things with her...I know..what an idiot right?

So anyways...he says he sent them when me and him had an argument and that hes sorry....he must have sent me around 200 texts that day I found out (he was back in the states by this time) And he was saying stuff like hes not giving up and that he loves me and that he wants to get married and have babies with me and all this crap. Anyways...im in the process of giving him a chance right...I still dont believe what he says so I hack into his online t-mobile telephone account (I overheard him give out his password on a call to his phone company) and find out hes been calling her up to 20 times a day.

I really have no clue what to do...I feel like an idiot but a part of me still believes him...I mean we are planning on getting married and moving to the states and all this. Can anyone give me some decent advice on what I should do..I mean I dont wanna tell him I logged onto his tmobile account cuz then i'll look really bad.

Ps: I love u all so please be nice

Pps: Sorry for the really long essay-style thread...I tried to make it easy to read for all u a lil sensitive at the eyes right now :thumbsup:

KottonMouthSara Reviewed by KottonMouthSara on 10-31-2005. Ok..this is long but I need advice Hey all u stoners...can i just start by saying how much I love this site but not as much as I love the members who make this site what it is..Seriously, u guys are the best... Ok...secondly I need some major advice...I know I dont personally know any of u guys but I'm too embarrassed to ask people who know me because I feel like i've been such an idiot...So ok, now that I got that out the way, heres the story (dont fall asleep!) About a year ago I met the perfect guy for me...A couple Rating: 5

[dark0ne]

ok your in belgium and he's in the usa? unfortumatly us guys will say just about anything to get a girl. Plus if you guys are going to get married trust can't be an issue, you don't want to come over here just to get left and screwed. confront him if he's being untruthfull to you now, whats stopping him later on down the road. just make sure the ice is sturdy before you jump on it with both feet.

[KottonMouthSara]

Thats true...I know i'll be a dick if I dont confront him about it...but im scared that if I do i'll get so pissed and just finish it with him for good.. And I really dont want that...even tho a part of me wishes he would drop dead

[dark0ne]

I had a simalar problem my ex would swear she wasn't going out with this other guy while i was at work.(she was) we were ingaged, i had to get her cell phone bill and saw that she was calling this guy like 10 times a day. i confronted her about it.............and well now i'm single and have no girl.....beside the point. she's doing the same thing to her new husband and he's a wreck.

[DazedandConfused]

wow you should confront him on that last bit, cmon 20 times a day? are you guys on a continous fight?

[bubbles603]

Red flags are everywhere. You need to let this one go.

[KottonMouthSara]

I guess once a cheater always a cheater u know...I dunno I guess im used to the security of being with him. I know I could do better than him because I have done in the past..Oh I dunno I'm too stoned to think straight i guess. And its nasty when things like this happen cuz u start blaming urself for the shit they do. I just cant believe hes done this to me U know?! I had PLENTY of opportunities to cheat on him..But I didnt..now I wish I had..bastard! Lol

[KottonMouthSara]

wow you should confront him on that last bit, cmon 20 times a day? are you guys on a continous fight?

Yeh...i'm always picking fights with him...and always bringing it up but he does the exact opposite of what I want him to do...he sits there and takes all the abuse I give him by saying how much he loves me and blah blah

[KottonMouthSara]

Red flags are everywhere. You need to let this one go.

I know but its so hard

[buginabassbin]

ditch him. do your self a favour and have nothing more to with him. you have already proved to yourself you can't trust him, and this may sound like a dig at you but its not, when he finds out about the snooping you have done he will probably feel the same. not that its your fault at all.

you sound like you are having serious doubts about him and i'd trust your instincts. If you were to get married would you feel like you could trust him 100%?