Why is it a crime?

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

its illegal because it makes you feel good "they" want you to suffer just look at anything thats fun it all gets regulated
movies gets restricted by ratings and some get banned
books some get banned
televison censored especially because of janet jackson
cigarettes age restritiction 18
alcohol age restriction 21
video games rating restrictions and bannings
marijuana illegal
lsd illegal
heroin illegal
etc.
if it makes you have a small bit of happiness in life its going to be taken away

Masturbation? That gives a small amount of happiness and no one's taking that away from me! lol
Also exercising releases endorphins into the body which are happy chemicals

Did you mean things that can be restricted are? lol