O.K. we need some humor so......

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

Hey anyone heard about the gay midget with the cleft palette?

No, what happened?

[Canadabis]

No, what happened?

He was a social outcast and a material failure. He killed himself 3 days before meeting his soulmate. :dance:

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

He was a social outcast and a material failure. He killed himself 3 days before meeting his soulmate. :dance:

lol:what:

Was that the punchline.. or did it have any meaning? lol

[beachguy in thongs]

THE ENGLISH "BIRD"

Leave it to a country with an international reputation as a place where you can actually be killed with kindness to subvert a gesture of peace and love. The Brits might have invented the bird as we know it today.

The Hundred Years' War (1336-1565). Anticipating victory over the British, the French decided to cut the middle fingers off of all their maptured English soldiers, making it impossible for them to use the longbow so they would be incapable of fighting in future wars or uprisings. When the English won a major upset at the Battle of Agincourt (1415) they began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at their defeated enemy, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew!" (The longbow was made from the wood of a yew tree.)

A recent revelation suggests the true origins of the bird might go back even further.

In the year 7523 B.C., Robots invented humans to gather raw materials for their war effort angainst their evil intergalactic enemies, the Blabacons. After humans had suffered a thousand torturous years as slaves, a young Neanderthal known as Bird Man (on account of his big nose) lead his people in a revolution. After three failed coups Bird Man discovered that if he placed his middle finger in a Robot's exhaust port, it would fill up with gas and pop like a balloon. He taught a small band of like-minded Neanderthals this tactic. They immediately mounted another revolt, and they were successful until they ran into some unexpected trouble with a group of their own people, whom they called the House Neanderthals. In a small skirmish with this highly trained, heavily funded unit, Bird Man was killed. Using his father's death as a battle cry, Bird Man's son took up the mantle of the revolution. With this gesture he led his fellow Neanderthals to victory over the Robot horde. We unknowingly honor our savior every time we flip...the bird.

The English Bird is used to insult people simply because they are a backward people:

INSTRUCTIONS

(1) Make a peace sign. (2) Twist your wrist so that your palm and fingers are facing you. (3) Throw some bangers and mash at the old boy.

TIP
It is important to say things like "Jolly good" and "Yes, yes, quite right," or talk about the empire shortly before or after making this gesture. This action should defuse any potential hostility of the average Nigel, but if you are dealing with a soccer yob, take the same precautions you might if you were to run into trouble at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert.

[Ammie]

you know your a redneck if...
someone yell's for a hoe down and you throw your date to the floor

You know your a redneck if....
your mama can tell the police officer at her window to kiss her ass without takin the marlbor outta her mouth......

[Bman719]

.... ammie! where have you been lately? lol... Oh and uh.. you know you're a redneck.... if you live in tennessee.

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

you know your a redneck if...
someone yell's for a hoe down and you throw your date to the floor
You know your a redneck if....
your mama can tell the police officer at her window to kiss her ass without takin the marlbor outta her mouth......

Lol!

Welcome back good to see your thread's still a hit.. make the most of it :thumbsup: :dance:

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

.... ammie! where have you been lately? lol... Oh and uh.. you know you're a redneck.... if you live in tennessee.

haha

[Ammie]

hey!! I have been here there and everywhere.


btw your redneck joke sucks

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

hey!! I have been here there and everywhere.


btw your redneck joke sucks

I was offended, i live in Tennessee!