there was a guy on a nude beach reading a newspeper...then this little girl came to talk to him and he covered his crotch with the paper...then she asked what was underneath it, and he said his pet bird...the girl left and he fell asleep...he woke up in a hospital with the little girl sitting beside him...he asked her what happened to him, and she said that she started to pet his bird, and then it threw up no her, so she broke its leg, crushed its eggs, and then set its nest on fire....lol



another one is...
this girl asked her dad if she could have a some money to go spend at the mall...so she asked him and he said only if you suck my dick...then shes just like, what the fuck? thats sick your my dad...then he like, well then i guess no mall money..she really wanted to go shopping, so a few minutes later you see her head bobbing...then she tells her dad that his dick tastes like shit...and he replies with "what do you expect? your brother just borrowed the car" lmao!