He shoots! He SCORES!!!

And he owes it all to Puck Technology's "Number 1."

I went with the substitution method and, not wanting to mess with uncertain temperatures or storing/subbing my clean friends' urine, decided on Number 1, which is a storage/temp regulating/expulsion device made by the folks who make the highly controversial whizzinator (the whizzinator, at $150, was just too damn rich for my blood, especially since I was pretty sure I was not going to be observed).

Anyway, after a few tests with the temperature regulation, I felt confident enough to go in and give it a shot at the lab. I didn't expect it, but they made me keep the bathroom door OPEN!!! Fortunately, no one was monitoring except for standing in earshot. I was extra careful with the little clips that keep the synthetic from pumping out uncontrollably as they make a wee *click* when unlatched for expulsion.

So I was scared shitless the entire time at the lab, and I drained ALL of the fake pee provided into the sample cup (there would have been more, but I had a small accident when running my at-home tests ^____^).

A short time later, I'm hired!!!

I know this sounds like a freakin' ad for the Number 1, but I really can't recommend it highly enough. At $50, it's the best bet for piece of mind -- unless someone is going to watch you give the sample.

Thanks for the tips and encouragement, all! I couldn't have done it w/o you!