question directed at women but men can respond

[teresaj2k]

ok all men watch porn or have at one time. i've known a lot of guys that say they don't like it. i think most of them are lying tho, haha. it is perfectly natural to watch porn. the bitch comment may have been out of line, but were you two fighting? what did you call him or have called him? sometimes things do get said. i know i've said some pretty vile things just because i was mad and wanted to hurt someone. of course i didn't mean it (at least not completely) and regretted it later. and the reading of his emails is kinda shady. not cool in the least. but hey, men brag to each other and love to comment on women. it's how they work. you knew he was into this stuff when you two got together. and now you want to change it. if you guys can't accept each other for who you are you're doomed.

[nancyrenee]

Yeah I read his e mail. I cracked his yahoo password and read them. Maybe I shouldn't have but I'm nosy. I can't help it. No we weren't fighting. We were discussing the porn industry and how I thought it was wrong. I commented on how I felt strippers were just brainwashed by the industry as well and they had no decency or concern for their bodies. I called them sluts and I got called a jealous bitch lol.

[kiwi]

O.K Nancy.....time for a reality check, I'm sure your a very nice young lady but come on girl....wake up and smell the coffee. You and your b/f are completely different, you are anti porn, and he loves it. I am 32 years old and in my time before I got married I had my fair share of lovers and never ever had a man that would need to have porn around to get aroused because I knew how to do that for them. Put it this way....if like you say he loves you etc etc then why would he rub your nose in it by having alot of porn in the house under your nose....the man has no respect for you, which in my eyes would mean he not really love you like you think. You are a lovely young lady and you need to find a mate that will show you respect cos that is what really matters, then with this you will get trust.

[nancyrenee]

Well it's not under my nose. It's in neat little folders in his c drive titled "lzwna" or some shit to throw me off. I just find it from snooping but I open it and BAM a hundred porno files. Then It's stuffed in boxes in his closet. I'm just really nosy and find it but when I complain about finding it he's like. It's just porn. I like porn. He doesn't whip one out before sex and get hard off of it. He gets hard off of me. But I don't want him looking at other chicks bodies when I'm not there jacking off to them. That's the point. And he thinks it would be "COOL" to have a gf that's like "one of the guys" that is into chicks and likes to watch porn with him. OH yeah he subscribes to playboy too. He says it's for the articles. OK and I watch general hospital for the dialogue. And that's a big NO GO with me. I get pissed off and bitch about it. I've even restored his pc and erased all of his porno and threw some out and he got pretty mad over that one lol. I have even deliberately spilled stuff on his playboy mags or i'll find them before he wakes up. and they are unopened i'll just throw them to the bottom of the trash. and rip out all the pages of naked chicks so if he does salvage the mag he still can't look at the chicks. I mean he just gets it for the articles anyway right? HA HA.

[Ammie]

hmmmmmmm well not much i can say i guess u just have to deal with it or leave

[sawleaf]

hmmmmmmm well not much i can say i guess u just have to deal with it or leave

I definately agree. If porn offends you this much, then your BF should take it seriously. Sounds like you two are very much different people. I'm sure you do have certain things in common though, but a problem like this, where both parties are not budging, is going to ruin the relationship. You are not the sex loving person that your guy seems to be. You really need to think about what you want in a relationship, judge yours, and make a choice Nancy.

[Valrasha]

In ways it sounds like your both obsessive about the two different topics, I don't think it is a good atmosphere for a relationship myself, and would probably leave it. I know I'm a man, and I have seen/watched porn, but never has it come before any of my g/f's, infact I avoid it almost completely when I'm in a relationship. The simple thing is, both sides of the sex do the same things, maybe not pertaining to porn, but they do things that really hurt each other, and do it on purpose. The thing I can't understand is, why a women would cheat and hurt a man who in most cases worships the ground they walk upon (it's a little bit of an exageration, but hopefully you get the meaning) and sticks with the man who treats them like the toilet paper caught between there cheecks. I don't mean offense to any one out there, but really, examine your life and see where your going to. Do you want to be with this person and go through this stuff all the time, or do you want to live your life to the best of your ability. Real love is not changing the person, but trying to and then accept what can't be changed, if it can't be accepted then it is not healthy and should be left behind. I myself have been hurt, not looked at a single woman in the way most men do, nor comment (yes I may be an exception to the rule) on the women, yet I've heard my own g/f's, people who told me they love me and that I'm the world and all that type of hogwash, say "ohh I'd like to get him in the sack" and what not, right in front of me. You know it really peed me off to an extreme, yet I loved the person and just accepted it as being a normal human reaction. Now I had wished I took the que as what it was and left, it would have saved me alot of heart ache. I'm single now, and most of the time I enjoy my life, I feel lonely at times, and it hurts to remember how I felt when there was someone in my life, but I wouldn't trade this for being hurt again, and nether would I trade my experience's, because now I know better. You've got to draw the line somwhere and stand for yourself, you know the answers to your own questions, now just take the obvious step. People won't change in a day or two, it takes decades, and then that may not be enough. You need to live your life, you are the one that decides how you live it.

[gs8778]

Ok, wow. Nancy, if I was your b/f I would be extremely pissed off at you. Talk about a complete invasion of someone's privacy. I mean, going through the trouble to crack his yahoo account? You are way beyond simply 'nosy.' Searching through his computer files for porn, and reformatting the whole computer. Crazy. If someone were to do this to me, I would get rid of them in a heartbeat. I don't care how much porn he has, show the man some respect.

[Tilde]

Haha, WOW..there are a lot of man haters on this thread...I'd loooove to argue more about this subject, but my words would just fall upon deaf ears so there isn't much of a point

[nancyrenee]

Well thanks for the comments to all who responded. I appreciate it. I'm tired of talking about this now. I think it's best to let this thread die down.