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10-09-2005, 11:06 PM #6
Senior Member
First Draft
ok, a few things. one, alot of unnecessary stuff is capitolized, but its not like ur getting a grade on this so i dont think it matters, two, i think the conclusion should be a little more powerful. if someone who isnt exactly the sharpest pencil in teh box, read this, tehy might have a hard time understanding exactly what your facts are saying and take it as a biased opinon. a good powerful conclusion stating basically that "posion is legal but natural herb isnt" would be better in my opinon. otherwise, its increidble, do you give permission to anyone who wants to use this to spread teh knowlege?
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