Ok, last one, and then I have to go take a dump.

SEABOURN CRUISE LINES
55 Francisco St.
San Francisco, CA 94133

Dear Cruise Booker,

My friend and I would like to book passage on your magnificent sea voyage. I have a situation which I need to address.

My friend has been diagnosed with multiple personalities. He has 9 distinct personalities. But let me tell you, he's a great bunch of guys. His name is Frito.

In a controlled atmosphere he is okay. It's when he gets back to the room that's when he sometimes gets belligerent and I have some trouble with him and he may need supervision.

Frito has been my companion forever. I don't go anywhere without him. We have traveled extensively throughout the Pacific Rim. He is a sensitive, caring individual but he has 9 personalities. Sometimes he is angry, sometimes sad. Sometimes he blushes, sometimes he is very argumentative. But that is the way Frito is. What can I do?

Can I get a reservation for the two (9) of us? Do we need that many rooms? How many stewards can we be assigned? Let us know the cost. We want to sail the week of September 15th, 1996 when the waters are ice cold.

Please write and let me know if Frito and me are accepted on your sea vessel. Thank you for understanding our needs. I will show up by myself the day of the cruise then Frito will come later.

Sincerely,
(signed Ted L. Nancy)
Ted L. Nancy