wtf

the vocals need some compression...not to mention theyre mixed way too hot compared to the rest of the track. its like the weakest part of the song shouldnt be twice as loud

but um.. focusing on whats good with the song. . .the guitar sounds ok...everything is keeping decent time. so at least you have that to work with! Just mix that shit better!
But yea like dude said before.. good effort. keep practicing.