Thanks everone for your input, some of you have helped me for which im hugely grateful. Ive decided its time to get my life on track, ive had enough. Ive made an appointment to see my Doc as i feel at a loss and cant handle things at the moment. Im not sleeping, not eating, using coke to numb the pain and drinking waaaay too much. I've lost my job bacause of my drinkin i was either hugely hungover at work or not there because i was too pissed or hungover. Ive woken up with girls i dont even know or want to know. I've lost friends and my dignity. I cant stop crying and i never cry, but i seem to be real good at it at the mo. I need help and im gonna get it. Ive had enough of feeling like this, and i dont like the person im slowly becoming.

Why cant i stop these feelings inside?
Why, oh why cant they just reside?
It's gotta stop, I must stop
I can't, It won't.
I want you out of mind,
I just need to unwind,
And find piece of mind,
With you out of my mind.

Peace bmf