I can't stand this shit! I'm fucked! Todat in college, ppl have found out that im bi and I doubt I can lie my way of it! I cnt face seeing any1 in college, and I'm so sensitie that 1 homophobic insult will destroy me! I cnt believe this. Only this morning no1 knew, and now I'm likely to be questioned by ppl in college by Friday. If I turn up 2 col on Friday, I will face my ultimate humiliation, but if I dnt turn up, my chances of sorting shit out could only fuck up more! Although any lies I try to say to save my ass aren't likely to be believed, everyone will probably see thru it. I cnt take this. I cnt even accept my sexuality, let alone accept the homophobic cunts in this fucked up worl. This is scaring me shitless. I got so much goin thru my head! I haven't got much options to sort thisn out. I can either face my embaressment or leave the country and start a new life where no1 knows me and make a fresh start. But I'm not independant enough to live alone with all those responsibilities. I thought I could move to some shitty old apartment where homeless ppl go to sort themselves out and maybe make enough money thru dealin dope or somethin 2 sort myself out. But part of me cant even see myself facing the big bad world just like that. I'm so fuckin scared! I'm 19 and didn't expect this to happen all so suddenly. I couldnt even see myself ever comin out! I dont know what 2 do!! |This is so depressin