Should I come out of the closet?

[Mojavpa]

Most of my family knows I'm gay, but I still havent told my dad. Hes very religious and would probably freak out of his mind if I him told I'm gay, and that I wont ever marry a woman. (Marriage and having kids is soooo important in Indian culture) What should I do? Should I wait until I'm on my own before telling him, or should I never tell him? Some of my gay friends say that coming out is very empowering, and that I'm basically lying to my dad by not telling him. I respond by telling them that I'm not close to my dad in the first place, so why should I even tell him? Any thoughts? Oh, and he has high blood pressure, so I'm scared he might have a heart attack or something, but I doubt this would happen. And if I were to tell him, hed probably be angry at the rest of my family because they knew for so long and didnt tell him. My mom knows, but she doesnt approve of it, and still expects me to get married even though she knows I'm not attracted to women.

Mojavpa Reviewed by Mojavpa on 09-13-2005. Should I come out of the closet? Most of my family knows I'm gay, but I still havent told my dad. Hes very religious and would probably freak out of his mind if I him told I'm gay, and that I wont ever marry a woman. (Marriage and having kids is soooo important in Indian culture) What should I do? Should I wait until I'm on my own before telling him, or should I never tell him? Some of my gay friends say that coming out is very empowering, and that I'm basically lying to my dad by not telling him. I respond by telling them Rating: 5

[NightProwler]

i think, the longer you wait the harder it will be. just do it

[naturalmystic]

If he has high blood pressure, and you're afraid he'll have a heart attack, then that's his problem. If he finds out his son is gay because he's clueless, and has a heart attack, that's his problem. You are who you are. People look at other people like they planned themselves out. Like it was my choice that I have a big nose. Again, if he has a heart attack, then that's a problem he needs to deal with himself, you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are. Like nightprowler said, the longer you wait, the harder it'll be. The decision is obviously yours, you've heard my advice. Good luck.

[MeatRulz]

dont tell him man it will make him feel a lot better about his life.

[jacquelyne]

Dont live a lie your whole life to please your parents.Be honest u have to for your own sanity

[mellow mood]

heres wut i think man: you see if your parents are fuckin enough DUMB to not even accept a natural thing of life, talking about homosexuality, then they should just fuck off.

i mean why the hell does your mother expect you to get married. your fuckin gay jeez. tell her to get married with a girl and see wut happens. i think if your dad doesnt accept the fact that your gay, well he got the problem u see. i think u should tell him. and if he freaks out, dont go into his domination mecanism.

tell him like why are you angry. because of a natural thing of life? do u think i chose to be gay? etc etc etc

and say too, if hes christian, why would god make homosexuals among living creatures.

if hes still so dumb, get the hell out. its not a shame to be gay. live your life freely, and never do something to please your parents. your goal in life is to be happy. not to give the "feeling" to your parents that they are happy.

anyway thats wut i think. good luck dude

[Mojavpa]

thanks for all the responses, guys! I have a lot to think about. I dont have a very confrontational personality, so that doesnt help things either. Anyway, thanks for listening.

[beachguy in thongs]

He's gonna be very confused, probably, we have some tell thems, nos, and wait and sees.

[mellow mood]

were not talkin bout confronting, were talkin bout acceptation and the truth. u dont confront your parents by telling em what u live. anyway...

just remember, never do somethin just to please em. this could stop yourself from reaching the happinness and freedom state u proly want to have

peace

[slipknotpsycho]

no one should have to live in fear or deception. i'd say tell him....there stand to be major reprecussions, but if he trully is a man he will learn to get over what he wants. if it has negative effects just bring it to his attention no person should live a life to what others expect and he should want what makes you happy. i have a gay friend, and his life was basicly shit (atleast in the fact he was never happy at all) until he came out, his dad was very anti-gay but he learned to deal with it (they dont' really talk anymore, but knowing his dad, and their relationship he accepted it very well) i wish you the best of luck, and well if it does have negative effects just keep in mind people usually hate or alienate what they don't understand. try to explain to him, especially how it's not your fault what you're attracted to and that you deserve to be happy as every other human being on this earth. btw if basicly your whole family knows i can almost garuntee he knows as well and just isn't saying anything.