I've quit for a year or more at a time, but I always feel the siren call, then get a deep-seated wanting and desire for weed. And find a way to get hold of some.

I just got married to a great woman.... The girl of my dreams actually. We hooked up again 13 years after we were originally together. I've not smoked for almost six months, but I got nearly 1/4 OZ of some killer shit just sitting in the closet. I just put the shit away... reluctant to throw it away because it is like $100 worth of smoke... and reluctant, well just because.

Now six months later, I'm feeling the call again and can feel that psychological addiction (I guess) tugging at that place that makes me think I need to smoke. Makes me want it.

I want to throw the shit away, but I KNOW myself and know that I will still want to and afraid that it'll be worse if it's not there. (I know nobody around here for supply) But it's important to me not to do it. We are going to have kids and I want the sperm to be nice and healthy and if somehow I get busted that would probably fuck up things with her son and my job, my career.

Well I'm just getting shit off my chest here. We just talked about it and she basically said I could (If I had to) but know that's she'd be disappointed. Not because she disapproves of it as a recreational drug but because of the legal problems, possible job-loss problems and possible healthy sperm issues. So I know I could and she'd be mostly cool, but I also feel that I'd be letting myself down. Hell I've gone nearly six months. Seems like a cakewalk, but it's still fucking hard.

Well I know this isn't marijuana anonymous, but I appreciate the ear getting this out.