Outrage Over 'Smack The Pingu'

[maryjanemama]

I have...is that where you got the line about the keys and the molten lava? It sounds familiar. I remember one that I used to think was hysterical, something like, "Did you ever notice that if you drilled tree branches into a small child's head, they would look like a deer?"

maryjanemama Reviewed by maryjanemama on 06-13-2004. Outrage Over 'Smack The Pingu' Smack The Pingu Causes Upset With Wildlife Preservationalists The Chairman of the World Wildlife Foundation (WWF) made a public announcement to various press officials this morning, seeking public support to get the fast spreading internet game Smack The Pingu banned and a lawsuit filed against the producers of the game. In her press appearance she quoted the game as "a violent, blood thirsty, sick-minded excuse for entertainment" and continued to say that the game was "a reflection of Rating: 5

[GHoSToKeR]

hey maryjanemama

we dont get Saturday Night Live over here.. and im not sure but i think jack handy was before my time, when i was like 15 a found a site with loadsa his quotes on, and id only just started smokin weed so i was pretty baked, i was laughin at his shit for hours....i duno who he is but hes funny as fuk... heres a few if anyone even gives a shit lol

'Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer'

'One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late'

'I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas'

'I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob."'

'Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.'

'He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven--with a gun."'

'If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone'

'As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint'

'Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what is I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.'

'The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.'

'Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.'

'If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.'

'I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex'

'If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.'

'Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know." He stared telling hes story, about the treasure and his life and all, and I thought: "This story isn't too long." But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, "Uh-oh, this story is getting long." But then the story was over, and I said to myself: "You know, that story wasn't too long after all." I forget what the story was about, but there was a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though.'

'I hope life isn't a big joke, 'cause i don't get it.'



-GHoSToKeR-

[maryjanemama]

Yeah, that first one is what I was trying to remember. It was called "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy" and it was probably around 90-91 on Saturday Night Live. That's when I was about 15...let me take you back now...way back. That is some of the funniest shit ever, Ghostoker. Thanks.

[GHoSToKeR]

lol maryjanemama

hey so tell me about urself.. i dont know anyone on this forum yet, thx

-GHoSToKeR-

[Bloogleshleimens]

I agree MommaJane, who i hope is Merry. I really failed to keep up with the Saturday Night crowd and not even sure I would know Handy if i saw him but no doubt, that is some hillariously funny material.

[smokey]

i really dont give a f**k wat the wwf think i think its funny as hell lol
and besides no sane person is gonna go hitting penguins with a bat also yetis do not exsist

[Bloogleshleimens]

i really dont give a f**k wat the wwf think i think its funny as hell lol
and besides no sane person is gonna go hitting penguins with a bat also yetis do not exsist

You ok smoke? You don't look so good. Ya look a tad bit edgy or something.

[smokey]

lol im fine just takin the piss coz coz of wat the wwf said about a game
i mean its not like its grand theft auto or anything lol

[Bloogleshleimens]

lol im fine just takin the piss coz coz of wat the wwf said about a game
i mean its not like its grand theft auto or anything lol

I'm telling ya smoke i think ya really need to see a doctor or something. Besides now ya seem to be telling me that this shit the WWF was saying is really true when i thought the ghost done went and said he made it up. Now I don't want to be calling either one of ya liars so i'm just gonna have to assume this is really a metaphor of some sort leading to a higher state of awarness but oh no, ain't no one gonna fool me on this one. I know it's them damn penguins that's been shagging the sheep all along. So far as i'm concerned they got whatever they git coming to um. And as far as them Arctic Turns or whatever they was they can just mind their own damn business.

[GHoSToKeR]

hey smokey

dude i made it up.. was tryin to take the piss outta the whole fuking cencorship, Politicaly Correct, 'you cant let your kids see that' kinda bullshit people always preach about
i hate the way people think if u see a violent game, or a watch a violent movie, youre gonna go out and kill someone or something.. i know it happens occasionally, but im pretty sure that if these people go out and kill coz of a movie they saw, they would have been able to kill anyway.. they just needed a push to actually go do it.. im sure if they hadnt seen whatever it was they saw, something woulda triggered em to do it eventually anyway... 'Political Correctness' and Cencorship is just bringing us a few steps closer to being told what to do and when to do it... its not long before people have no freedom at all, in the name of "national security" or because its "for our own good" or whatever the fuk our governments call it... so yea i made it up lol
peace

-GHoSToKeR-