I'll see if I can remeber this. It's from a comedian named Gavin Stevens, I thionk he's Canadian, anyways...

"Man, potheads are one of the most mellow people in the world. A pothead couldn't rob a store, they just can't. They'd pull out a gun and yell,give me all of your fuckin Doritos bitch! *starts laughing* Mmmm...Doritos"

Much funnier when I saw him on TV. Here's another quote:

"Drugs have done good things for people and if you don't think they have, I want you to go home and take all of your CD's, tapes, records and burn them! Because the musicians who have enhanced our lives throughout the years...rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreal fuckin high on drugs"
-Bill Hicks