the funniest thing said while under the influence?

[PaulCT7]

This was not while under the infulence, but it was right before and is really funny, so I will say it anyway. We were getting ready to hotbox my friends big ole caddy, when we start talking about aderall. He then goes on to say, that since he has add/adhd and shit, it will calm him down. Then out of no where he screams, "Fuck, I wanna learn something"

It was SO funny at the time, I dunno if anyone else will see it like that though.

[DaBudhaStank]

funniest thing ever wasnt said, but observed.

me and my bros smoked 2 bowls of bomb ganj, and we were sittin and chillin,and he just grabs a pillow and hides behind, just peaking out from over the top at me. i laughed harder and longer than ever before, i swear to god i almost died from lack of oxygen lol

[Chaffinch88]

My mate was like "Hey, wanna hear a joke? Ok, so when you're making a compost heap, you move one bit of earth to another bit of earth, and then cover it up in a plastic bin thing. So really what you're doing is sticking a piece of plastic in the ground."

We were pissing ourselves. When I repeated it to some non-fucked people, they were just like.. huh?

[squareguy]

I turned to my friend Tiff to tell her a story and it starts out like this...
"Tiff, I was at my neices birthday party and ... oh wait it wasn't a birthday party, there were just a lot of ppl there and we were eating."

Oh and I asked Tiff if I could borrow her kitten to freak my Mom out and make her think I brought home a stray. So I pick the kitten up and said," Dayum!!! This cat smells like shit."
Tiff: "Yea, I know. I haven't gotten a chance to give tha cat a bath."
Me: "Do you have a Ziploc?"
Tiff: "WHAT?!"

that is the funniest shit i have heard in a while.

[squareguy]

just finished smoking in my friends car, and we stopped at her house. when she got out of the car, she shut the door on her fingers. she wasnt hurt, but her hand was stuck in the door. the really funny thing is that her doors were locked, and her keys were in the car! it was soooo funny. the cops came to help her out, and we got pictures and everything.

[koshea]

me andmy best friends play football and we all dont like it too much but all deep down love it its weird, anyways, my friend kyle said

"yeah, its funny we always sit around bitching about football and how much we hate it and how were gonna quit but none of us ever do because were all pussys"

its funny cuz its true, were all lazy potheads and dont wanna bother with the coaches bullshit theyd give us if we quit

[dopefiend]

:rasta: i once was really high and out of nowhere jumped up and said" im muhammad ali, floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee." that was awesome! :rasta:

[jfoster]

ok so me and my friend were really high but we were pissed off and arguing about somthing. we stop arguing and are just quiet for like 5 minutes. then:

me:ummmmmmm ryan?
ryan:ya?
me:what were we arguing about?
ryan:i have no idea

we both almost pissed ourselves. and at kfc i was ordering

lady:regular or crispy?
me:to go please

[heyheymymy]

at the drive thru at taco bell my friend orders a nacho bell grande, she hands it to him and he yells: This aint no fuckin nacho bell grande!! right in her face....

[im high as we speak]

Not really the funniest thing.. but just sort of deep, I guess..

When a buddy of mine were tripping on shrooms at his house, we walked around his back yard and were looking at these trees.. the sunlight was filtering through them and was making this sort of pattern. We both likened it to a magic eye puzzle (you know, those things where if you look at them long enough, they turn into a picture). So we went inside and smoked some bud, and we put on this crazy Tool CD. I said that it sounded like a "magic ear puzzle" because you could listen to it for a while, and new parts of the song would show themselves. I dunno, just seemed cool.

yeah man that does sound deep.

a story of mine:
me and some friends were smokin and we decided to head over to krispy kreams for some bomb ass donouts. well anyway, i knew what i wanted, just the plain glazed, but when i was tryin to get their order they said different flavors so i tried to remember, but when i started repeating i started fuckin up and jus started cracking up. then my friends started crackin up so i started rolling up the window panicking tryin not to seem too high but it was too late. i ended up saying forget that, i just want 12 glazed and 4 milks. in the end everyone was cool with the glazed. hahaha

man, a lot of these stories i can relate to