the funniest thing said while under the influence?

[Ratmbmx10]

Alright just to set it up, me and my cousin(Ian) went to one of his friend's house to get stoned. Now the guy lives in a house that is sorrounded by corn. The corn is no longer green so it can only be used as feed corn to feed animals and shit.

Me: Dude I'm so fucking thirsty, I think I'm gonna go out there and eat some of that corn.
Ian: Dude your an idiot you can't eat that corn, it's feed corn it's not meant for people to eat. They use it to feed animals and shit, it's really dry and startchy so you can't eat it. (He goes on for like 5 more minutes telling me why exactly I can't eat feed corn)
Me: Dude you have been talking about fucking corn for like ten minutes. What are you a fuckin farmer?

It was just funny because he was rambling about corn for so long. Heres another one that happened earlier. My cousin is carrying in a suit case since we were moving him into that house.

Damien: Dude Ian what's in your suitcase?
Me: He's got a dead dog in there.

It was funny because it was so fucking random.

[tylerkane]

Ratmbmx10
Registered

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
thats so funny man

[dustoned]

one time, my friend bryan and i were smoking at our old dead end road spot, and he went to go light the pipe in the dark, and he laughed at some stupid bullshit we were ranting about, and the cherry flew out, glowing toward the ground. i was like 'hahaha, oh shit!... napalm death!'

we almost died.

[powair]

One time me and my friend Megan got really fuckin high, and this was back when we were relatively new to it. We were just so baked and we were walking through this field. I was talking a million miles an hour and then megan interrupts me and shes like, do I have something on my lips? and I looked at her and her lips were all brown with resin! It was funny because she must have been thinking about it the whole walk and not listening to what I was saying. I fell to the ground and rolled around laughing for a good 20-30 minutes.

[dustoned]

yeah. the first time i got stoned, i didn't stop laughing until about 3-5 minutes later. because i happened to tap the back of my head against my ex-girlfriends foot when i was lying on the floor. and i turned around real quick and noticed what it was.

oh man... the days when one pipe hit got you in the clouds.

[SomeGuy]

I was telling my friend to go at a stop sign and he says " Im waiting for it to turn green" very seriously...until i convinced i didnt think stop signs changed color...

[DiLoS]

Ok, yeah I was in class with a friend of mine one time and we were both pretty baked and he says to me "Hey dude, it's 3:15." and I was like "Oh shit!" and start to pack up all my shit with quite a bit of haste when I realize class doesn't get over until 3:30 lol. Good times, good times....

[DiLoS]

Oh yeah, than there was another time where I asked for a Six-inch Footlong at Subway. The chick looked at me like I was fucked up, which I was of course. So I was standing there like I asked the right thing until my friend said a six-inch footlong doesn't exist you idiot lol.

[ADaisyChain]

I was telling my friend to go at a stop sign and he says " Im waiting for it to turn green" very seriously...until i convinced i didnt think stop signs changed color...

This has very little to do with the thread, because technically nothing was said, but the number of times I've done this would take me upwards of 3 hands to count I would imagine. If I needed hands to help me count that is.

Luckily, I've always caught on that stop signs don't change color before mentioning that it wasn't changing out loud.

[powair]

LOl ok, another one.

Back to the days i used to get fucking blitzed with my best girlfriends, breanne, megan, and vanessa. Every time we got high, breanne would trip. Shut the fuck up you motherfuckers! Shut the fuck up! My brother can hear us! Shut the fuck up! and one time she turns to megan and says, you look like a man in those glasses. Megan gave her a pissed off look, then proceeds to take the glasses off, throw them against the wall, and says fuck those glasses!

I thought i was going to explode from laughing. I was like, this is it, my brain is exploding.