the funniest thing said while under the influence?

[zackalack]

one time i was so high and i was with my brother and the funniest guy in the world and we had just gotten back from the movie theatre and i was eating some milk and cookies and this goofy guy comes in and was like oh my god those look so good and i was like u can have some and he was looking for a glass to put milk in and he was like wide mouth- great for dipping. it took me like 2 minutes to realize what he said and i started cracking up for some reason it was so funny

[sir smokes alot]

its not that funny but one time i went to schools high and some anoying girl heard rumors or somthin that i was a stoner so she came up and asked if i was a stoner and i asked her if she was the sober chick.... not that funny

[Aces High]

omg my mate sed the funniest thing a while ago on the subject of marmite:

"Marmite is a very British thing imo, its a bit like vindaloo"

God i laughed so hard, i couldn't be arsed to correct him, lol

[theNecromancer2113]

i always say the dumbest shit when im high. all my friends laugh at me, we will be somewhere like outside and i will just think of the weirdest thing and say it. like this one time we were really stoned walking through the neighborhood,and we walked by this old guy watering his flowers. my friend was like want some WEED? but we kept walking. i was like "what if he was like, "yeah" then brought us into his basement and made a gun shape with his hand and said "youre under arrest" my friends called me an idiot

hahahah dude i know exactly what you mean. you think of shit in your head and you think it sounds bad ass but when it comes out everyone has the wtf? expression on their faces.

but one of the funniest things i've said when i was ripped was when my buddy and this chick and i went to dairy queen to order blizzards. i was in the drive-thru and the person was like "can i take your order?"

me: "yea just a second"
*people in car tell me what they want"
me: "ok, i'll have a medium large"
*ROFL*

we couldnt stop laughing and the person taking my order was dead silent when we got to the window she just smiled and gave us our blizzards, i almost shat my pants it was swell.

[Hempamasta]

Not really the funniest thing.. but just sort of deep, I guess..

When a buddy of mine were tripping on shrooms at his house, we walked around his back yard and were looking at these trees.. the sunlight was filtering through them and was making this sort of pattern. We both likened it to a magic eye puzzle (you know, those things where if you look at them long enough, they turn into a picture). So we went inside and smoked some bud, and we put on this crazy Tool CD. I said that it sounded like a "magic ear puzzle" because you could listen to it for a while, and new parts of the song would show themselves. I dunno, just seemed cool.

[Up In Smoke 420]

haha one time me and my friend put brownie mix in a muffin tray with the wrappers and called them bruffins.... they fukin' ruled.

[hammerhead]

i spent 10 minutes telling my friend about how i had prepared my toasted sandwhich with different amounts of ham and cheese in different sections

[ztriple3]

one of the first couple times my friend smoked, he was laughing hysterically about every half a minute, about nothing at all. he explained this as the "30 second cycle" in which, he would be laughing about something for 30 seconds, and then he would forget what he was laughing about, and so he would laugh again because he didnt know what he was laughing about. this would continue cyclically every 30 seconds, and it lasted for several minutes. good stuff, i thought that was hilarious, at the time.

[UpInSmoke]

oh shit... so many burnouts...its funny just because of the fact that I can read any one of these stories and relate...

I remember one time pulling up to some fast food drive thru with an ass load of people in my car, I pull up and they ya know ask for my order I tell em gimme a sec. I find out what every person in tha car wants... and tell tha guy Im ready.. The convo went as follows..
Guy in little box: go ahead...
Me:....uh...uh...fuck it we're goin inside ain't no fucking way I can remember what everyone wants, Im lucky if I know wtf I want!!

[orph3n]

Alright so, it was the first time my parents weren't home while I was high. I could be as loud as I wanted. I was with my smoking Partner/Cousin. I went to go into the Garage of my house and I just started screaming that were asians in my garage, we started freakin out but the thing that was so hilarious about it, in all the confusion, I managed to bust out... "I wonder if theyre making me some sesame chicken" One of the best high's I've had.

Another time I was on the beach with my friends: Bermuda, Pops and Jam. We were so hungry and we didn't want to leave the beach so I started talking about food and I shouted "Let's go eat the portals!" and everybody was like "holy shit, that sounds so good" and we all started cracking up. Good times.