Hey Soleman. Sorry to hear your shitty news.
Ive got some insight based on my own experiences, and of course its gonna be in my long winded style so have a stretch and take a pee and get comfortable hahaha.Ok ready?
If I could say one thing bluntly it would be that once you have lost trust in someone a relationship is over. The intimacy that is the relationship is just gone. As long as you have that nag in your mind that she may be witholding shit from you itll eat you from inside. Always second guessing her words, moves, promises and intentions is what becomes of a lack of intimate trust. And when you dont feel the trust , she will sense that .
It will create a distance between you that will only grow into resentment and bitterness.
It is up to you to decide where to go from here based on your gut feelings. I cant advise or speculate on that, only you know.
If you can move beyond the distrust by having faith that she is being forward now then great. But if you have any doubt I would think that doubt needs to be settled before you can reinvest in your relationship with her.
She needs to be completely forward with you and clean out the closet before you can decide if she is worth it, and if you can get past whatever has happened with her and DUDE.
If she is clean, and you are able to see a future in this relationship, then maybe forgiveness is in order. Only you can have that insight into what you are willing and capable of doing to make it work. Forgiveness for emotional betrayal is a difficult thing, but not impossible. The work it takes can really strengthen a relationship.
If you take the time to work it out in your mind and in your heart and decide it is something you want to work on then more digging needs to be done.
There was obviously something she felt she was missing for her to look to dude for it. None of us like to admit that we might have let something slip or have a shortcoming when it comes to fullfilling our partners needs but it happens to everyone . Its just easy to slip into a comfortable state and just not notice the other person maybe wanting something more unless they speak up. It is also easy for many people to put aside something that is important to them in order to focus on being that perfect someone for that other person. It happens in every relationship. But balance must always be reached if a relationship is to flourish and last, and be fulfilling for both people. ( or all 3 if thats yer thing lol...jk)
Everyone needs to feel loved, respected, and needed.
So my point is that you both need to examine how eachother meet the needs of the other and how each of you fall short. Then its time to decide what you can do to work on filling those holes for each other.
Its a practicle process that demands complete honesty .
If you can fill those holes you have a future, if not there is no better time to part as friends. Something was missing or she wouldnt have wandered. Only you know if you can provide what she went looking for and found in dude.
Nobody can sit here and dole out advice as to what you should do in reaction to what you have learned. We can point out things you could do and show you options you might not see from your emotional perspective.
Im sure youll get lots of advice to weigh and see what fits best for your situation. The best advice reminds you what you already know but are blinded to by emotion.
Dont listen to the guys who will say shit like 'fuck that ho' because that only stirs negative emotions that wont help you any. Itll cloud your mind and judgement and lead you to bad results that will be regretted once you calm.
Dont jump into anything. You are obviosly intelligent enough to recognise that you need to think this one out before making any decisions since you are open to outside feedback and insight.
I know your head and heart can work together on this one since they seem to be a pretty good team as it is.
Heres to wishing you the strength to listen to your internal wisdom and follow through with what you know to be right.
peace bro.