Everybody is different. Some people may be in a relationship with an extremely stable person and still find some of their idiosyncrasies "hard to cope with". I think a relationship can only succeed if both people are willing to admit that they will never entirely get along, and that sometimes one party will become annoyed or even frustrated with aspects of their partners personality.

When one person in the relationship has some sort of mental illness (and I use the term in the mose vague sense), they may feel that their partner won't be able to cope. They may feel that they are putting unnecessary stress on their relationship, but I think that if both people are aware of the other's condition then they will be able to work around it, work through it, or at least deal with it when it puts the relationship in jeopardy. I'm sure your boyfriend realises that sometimes you can't control your emotions and that you may lash out, but if he is willing to stick at it then that's a start. It may be hard for him sometimes, but if your relationship has a strong base then it will overshadow any problems that either of your not-so-attractive aspects will cough up.
Quote Originally Posted by Ousted
I had no control over my emotions, and if I felt hurt, attacked, or threatened in any way, I had an uncontrollable urge to "win."
A while ago I was in a long term relationship (only 11 months, but when you're 18 that's a hell of a long time!), and after a while she (I won't mention her name) started to act how you described. She would always try to "win" every situation, even if it was just a small difference of opinion over something as trivial as where to eat out. Eventually we discussed it, and she explained that, for different reasons, she sometimes found she couldn't control her emotions. I completely understood and every time she acted like this I just dealt with it in my own way (ignored it, basically) instead of arguing and causing the situation to esculate.

However, after a while I found I could no longer put up with it. I tried to be as patient and as understanding as I could be, but I found my patience could only stretch so far. Not only was she becoming aggressive and domineering more and more frequently, she was also trying to control every aspect of the relationship. Maybe if I had just told her to shut the fuck up right from the start then it wouldn't have got so bad, but that's not in my nature and it just progressed from bad to worse.

So I broke it off with her. I felt bad because she had explained to me why she acts that way, and that it "wasn't always her fault", but when people find a way of controlling a situation they'll exploit it until it becomes ridiculous. As long as you are positive that your actions are a result of your condition or because you've stopped taking your medication, and not because you've found an obscure way of controlling the relationship (i'm not saying that's what you're doing, but alot of people do!), then your partner should be able to work through it with you, and maybe he can even help you with what you're going through. Just make sure you explain it to him!
GHoSToKeR Reviewed by GHoSToKeR on . relationsip with a mentally ill person Are any of you in a relationship with a mentally ill person? What issues come up? Is it hard to forgive them? Rating: 5