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It wasn't until I started reading Dale Carnegie's books that I got the tools I needed to get my point across without extending my claws. His books have helped me understand people, effective communication, and a good understanding of my emotions. He lays it all out in easy to read, easy to understand, guidelines which really are such a cinch to infuse into your daily interaction because it changes your perspective entirely. You can't help but use the tools once you've read his books, because it doesnt make sense not to and to continue as usual, as thats proven ineffective. I've had much greater success using his tools than any medication Ive tried (though I am on Lexapro), and when putting his methods into practice it was surprising just how easy and effective they are. As time goes on you notice that your relationships are better than you ever could have imagined, people are more drawn to you, and you get an overwhelming sense of personal dignity and respect for yourself, which of course results in more self-confidence and therefore you're a much happier person.
I would highly recommend "How to Win Friends and Influence People". It's a life-changing book, the kind of book you cant put down until it's finished and you spend every chapter going "holy shit, this makes so much sense!"
Good luck!
My husband took a Dale Carnegie course about a year and a half ago--did WONDERS for him. It was work-related, and the upper management had to attend. He was SOOOO pissed he had to "waste his time" on the course, and he ended up loving it. Took him out of his "comfort zone" and showed him how to be relaxed and at ease when out of it.
He also read the book you mentioned--in fact it's on my book case right now!