JOKES JOKES JOKES MORE JOKES!!!!

[jadeius]

ok, so i'm gonna go smoke me a cigarette and then i'm gonna post some jokes for your reading pleasure, since it went over pretty well last time...



BE RIGHT BACK BITCHEZZZ!!!!

jadeius Reviewed by jadeius on 08-19-2005. JOKES JOKES JOKES MORE JOKES!!!! ok, so i'm gonna go smoke me a cigarette and then i'm gonna post some jokes for your reading pleasure, since it went over pretty well last time... :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D BE RIGHT BACK BITCHEZZZ!!!! Rating: 5

[jadeius]

Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?

A. A mechanic!

[jadeius]

Yo' mama so stupid, she walked into an antique shop and asked "What's new?"

[jadeius]

Q: What animal should you never play cards with?

A: A cheetah!

[jadeius]

Two eggs are in a frying pan and one says "Man it's hot in here." The other one says "Holy sh*t a talking egg!"

[jadeius]

Two guys are looking a dog lick its balls and one says "Man, I wish I could do that." The other guy says, "Really? Well pet him first, he might let you do it!"

[jadeius]

Q: What should you do if you come across an elephant?

A: Apologize and wipe it off.

[jadeius]

You know you're a redneck if you think the last four words of the national anthem are:

"Gentlemen, start your engines!"

[jadeius]

A man died and went to straight down to hell. The devil greeted him and gave him a guided tour of the place. He told the man that there were three rooms he could chose from in which to spend eternity.

The first room was full of flames so hot the man couldn't even breathe. He told the devil that there was no way he was choosing that room. So they moved on.

The next room they came to was full of people who were being beaten and tortured. It looked so painful the man could not watch. He told the devil he definitely didn't want that room, and they moved on.

The last room they came to was full of people who were just sitting around drinking coffee and relaxing. The only thing was that they were standing around in about two feet of poop. The man looked for a while and then told the devil this room would be all right.

The devil gestured for him to sit down and the man took a seat. He did, sipped his coffee and felt really pleased with his choice. After a few minutes, a voice came over the loudspeaker and said, "Break time is over! Back on your heads!"

[jadeius]

A Doctor was addressing a large audience:

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long- term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."