Quote Originally Posted by mlleyeuxbleus
Thanks to all of you for your input & ideas. Ousted, as for not listening, I mean they blatantly ignore specific things I tell them. For example, I took them to the pool where I live, which also has a hot tub. As we walked by the hot tub, the 8-yr.-old wanted to go in. I told him no, & explained that the hot tub was for adults. One minute later, I look up from opening the umbrella at our table, to find him lounging in the hot tub. I walked over & asked him to repeat what I had told him, & he did. I was like, so why are you in there? Cue big puppy eyes & an "I dunno" as he clambered out. GRRR. I would've asked him if he was deaf, except that he is, & I both signed & spoke to him, lol, & he signed back.

I get what you mean regarding not being vague, & I do try to avoid that. It is just very frustrating when I say specifically not to do something, & they just go right ahead anyway. All I want is to be the cool, fun auntie, yet I end up chasing around after them. Not sure about asking my sis for parenting advice, as this is the way they behave (or don't) with her as well... she obviously hasn't figured anything out.
So whats their motivation for listening to you? What will happen to the 8 year old if he disregards what you instruct of him? What happened when he did and went into the jacuzzi? Did he just get scolded or was he punished?You're not their mom so they probably wont listen to you unless there's a price they'll pay if they dont.
If you dont believe your sis to be much of a disciplinarian I would definitely set a boundary in place to your sis when it comes to babysitting her kids. You are the one who has to deal with them when they misbehave, and if you explain to her that though you love being an aunt and absolutely adore her children, you cant deal with being disrespected and ignored, and then utterly exhausted after a visit - it makes you not want to spend time with the kids at this point. I would work with her on mutually agreeing on a punishment that will be in place for her children if they misbehave while visiting with you. I really dont see how she could see that as an unreasonable request.