I would respect it more if my kids just came up and said 'hey I want to talk about something' and we'd sit down and get to it. I know thats a big step and would take loads of nerves so its not so easy as it sounds. But, the reward is greater.
In my family we keep things open ( so far not quite teenagers ) and have regular informal 'family meetings' and talk about everything . I hope to keep that going to avoid the difficult situation you are in now.
Hope it works out for you however you decide to do it.
peace.