Thanks all for your help! Well, I see all sides here...Mr. IA knows about the drug problems I've had in the past..mainly cocaine. Haven't touched it in 10 years, and really have no desire to ever again. I believe that he doesn't fully understand the effects (good AND bad) of different drugs. I mean, cocaine is a nasty addiction to have...and I went through the whole realm of it pretty much (before he and I were engaged, etc), and other than the short amount of time the high existed, the rest of the day was pure hell. Weed is enjoyable at all times...before, during and after. And when the high is coming down, that's OKAY. in fact, it's enjoyable. It's not like "shit, I need more if this immediately!!!!!". It's an experience, with a beginning, middle and end. Coke ended up being--for the most part--the middle. All the time.

So to me, I understand that if I can't be happy with 1/2-1 bowl an evening, like I am now, then I see a problem. I work from home during the day, and am here with my kids. Those are my priorities--kids being first, ALWAYS. Now, when I have had a shit day, the kids have tried to overthrow me, the cats are having a hairball puking contest, and my dog is running around with a clump of shit on her ass....yeah, I want to have a few puffs. And when Dan gets home, and the kids are out playing or have gone to bed, no big deal.

I really believe that, since he's contemplating looking for a new job, he can't smoke....he would absolutely have a pre-employment drug test done, so he doesn't want to jeopardize anything. Which is completely understandable. But, Mr. IA is of the mentality that if he can't do something, no one else should either. If he has to get up at 3am to go into work early, he DAMN SURE makes it a point to let me know he is awake. Lights on everywhere, closet doors opening and closing, you name it. This is just another "If I can't sit there and smoke, you can't either." I believe that. It's just kind of his "pattern". So, we'll see. I told him that I would gladly pop out onto the deck after everyone is asleep, and smoke then. But why he didn't like THAT idea was because he'd "know" what I was doing. WTF is that???????

Anyhow...don't know if I am any better off then when my weed went missing. Oh hell, of COURSE I am!!! LOL