thank you dearly for your feedback.
I feel better now, all it took was a walk around the quarter and I'm much better.
I was growing those plants (I still have one left) for the pleasure of seeing it grow. then I read somewhere I should put my plants in a bigger pot and that's when the damage happened; I did it wrong, I know I did - wish I hadn't touch it but now it's done.
I don't know anyone who can get me some seeds, the person who gave me these ones went to Spain and there is no weed where I live, only hash.
but it's fine, I'm trying to quit smoking weed so it's okay. let it be what God wants it to be, I must have the serenity to accept it and if I don't it's because I'm stupid, which was what happened this morning, I shouldn't let myself be sad because of this; there is always something good about everything, even this. I screamed and shouted and now I realise I was stupid. this is a lesson for me, another one. I am very impatient and moddy so I take it as a lesson. it must be the message, I'm sure it is. everything that happens in my life is for some reason; in our lives I mean.
it was a pity because I really put my dedication in those plants but then they were growing kind of strange and I knew they would never look pretty like I see in so many photos of plants here. these plants are really beautiful, they have some hypnotizing thing about how they look that makes people hate them or love them instantly (guess the hate is more about prejudice and the fact it's illegal).
I don't know anyone who has weed around here but then I live as an hermit so what would I expect?

I'm happy that my family is enlightened about this, well, how couldn't they be?
I had been on heroin for 13 years so even my grandmother knows what's wrong and what's not so wrong.

I appreciate your feedback, you were super nice.
since I am using the light of the sun now I have to wait for next year. but by then I hope I know more about cannabis and maybe this won't happen again.