Tastefully asking for rights to being friends who have sex.

[Encatuse]

There's this girl I like a good deal. I broke up with her tonight because relationships are drama and hard, especially ones between young people. She was a virgin before I made her a woman, and she says she really loves me, etc. But I think that's just what happens when you take a girls virginity.

Anyway, we agree that we have absolutely wonderful sex. We also agree that we want to stay really good friends. I'd date her, but my brain can't handle the facts of relationships. They're too much right now, and I've got bigger priorities, aka, summer college class finals, and then a load of classes just a couple weeks away for the fall.

Is there any tasteful way to ask if she'd be interested in not only staying friends, but also continuing to have awesome sex? Or would she probably just see me as a pig if I did that? I've had sex with 3 other girls, and none even compared to this girl in ability. Not even slightly close.

Encatuse Reviewed by Encatuse on 07-21-2005. Tastefully asking for rights to being friends who have sex. There's this girl I like a good deal. I broke up with her tonight because relationships are drama and hard, especially ones between young people. She was a virgin before I made her a woman, and she says she really loves me, etc. But I think that's just what happens when you take a girls virginity. Anyway, we agree that we have absolutely wonderful sex. We also agree that we want to stay really good friends. I'd date her, but my brain can't handle the facts of relationships. They're Rating: 5

[Satovan]

Don't ask man, try to make it happen when you're with her and it feels like the time is right. Just let it happen, asking that shit straight out would make you look like an asshole.

[Encatuse]

-laughs- Okay. That seems like pretty sound advice.

[Encatuse]

I thought about it, and I don't even want to do that. That might confuse things into a half relationship, which could be just as much drama if not more.

[Button Basher]

She's either thinking the same thing or not at all. The best you can do is ask as politely as possible (which is pretty hard considering what your asking) and she'll either be cool with it or think your an asshole. No way of sidestepping around it if that's what you want.

[Cheery Cherry]

Break it off completely if there is any part of you that care about her. Even if she agreed to just be your friend and have sex with you, she will not be happy (it'll never be enough for her) and you'll have a bigger drama to deal with.

[ilovebecky]

have you ever seen the episode of seinfeld where jerry and elaine try to have sex but just stay friends?

[Ousted]

I thought about it, and I don't even want to do that. That might confuse things into a half relationship, which could be just as much drama if not more.

Hee hee. My exboyfriend and I broke up and became fuck buddies because we just couldn't let go of the sex - even though our relationship previously was nothing but DRAMA!


Needless to say my ex-boyfriend is now my husband...

I dont think the fuck buddy thing works well if you or she still have feelings for the other - that is if you are not interested in ever getting back together. However for us it gave us a breather from the relationship, and when we did get back together officially it was on much better terms than the first time around.

[Encatuse]

Break it off completely if there is any part of you that care about her. Even if she agreed to just be your friend and have sex with you, she will not be happy (it'll never be enough for her) and you'll have a bigger drama to deal with.

I know the concept of fuck buddies seems incompassionate, but I'm wondering if she's thinking the same thing, since despite being broken up we're still talking about our 'sex life'. She's shy girl, but then in bed she's just like whoa, sex-monster released.

I'm not breaking it off completely, period. -shrugs- And that's because there's "any part of me that cares about her." But because I enjoy her, not just her sex. I just figured if we're going to be hanging out as friends, we might as well be having sex too, since it's just another enjoyable aspect of our relationship. At least until one of us gets a new S.O..

You don't know the girl to say it'll never be enough for her. Maybe it wouldn't be enough for you, but this girl is a tough one. She didn't even cry when I broke up with her. Just said she understood and that it probably would've happened eventually anyway. And that she didn't regret anything about our relationship and she'd had alot of fun, and that she hopes we can stay really good friends.

Not every girl holds sex to be an extremely intimate expression of emotions. Most do, but not all. She's never said she loved me during sex either, which makes me wonder if she's capable of having it without extreme attachment.

The fact is: I pretty much still want to be with this girl. I just can't have such a serious relationship going on in a time in my life where I'm having a tough enough time with everything else. ((I'm a 17 year old who's been taking full college loads for over a year now. I don't have time to worry about the drama.))

I just want to find out if she's thinking the same thing. -shrugs- If she's not, it's not like I'd try and convince her into it. I think we've definately got potential to do like Ousted did. This girls cool as hell. I just don't want to be worrying every time she wants to goto a party and I don't, and I don't want to be worrying about making sure she's never mad at me. Etc. I want it to just be alot more natural, and alot less "typical relationship crap".

I didn't want to do it anymore because I feared that it would evolve into a half relationship. But I think if we just keep it light for a while, we have alot more potential for figuring shit out in the end.

Thanks for that story Ousted, it was the table turner for me. ^^

[9ski9]

It's all easy to do until the first time one of you hooks up with someone new. That's the real test for your new idea. Screwing around and keeping out of relationships is simple, but what you're planning is the world's toughest thing to pull off. If it works, it's an awesome setup, but it may also get your penis cut off in the middle of the night.