^So True Mate! I kept everything in my head for months until 2 weeks ago, hence my disappearance from these boards, and can honestly say even talking about the subjects which have lead me to depression has helped no end.

I feel as though now people know they can understand a lot of past endevours and absence from work and feel as though I don't have to be on edge and hide emotions as much now!...

...It's a BRAVE and HARD thing to admit, especially someone like me....I mean all other people see is....

...."An Athletic twenty-something, without a care in the World"

As I have previously posted I was a Resident MC at a Hardcore Rave In UK and found this ultimately led to me putting on a "front" that I was LIVING Life To the Max and enjoying every minute, whereas I was Starting to Realise that Life ain't Fun and games! .... In fact, Life for me meant Turning Up....Thats all I was doing, Turning Up, always on the move and Seeking to Please other people, regardless of the Impact on Myself!

I gave up the Rave Scene 2 years ago, the RAVERS changed their whole Party Ethic and Myself aswell as many others grew tired of the "Rude Boy"/"Chavs" which found they had the right to determine who attended the Events! .....

.....My Pal/Mate said I have a "Body of a Twenty-odd year old, and the views of a Fascist Sixty Year old, who is mesmerised by the State of The World"!!!!

^Kinda True to an extent!