mrdevious, don't know who you are but youv'e wrote exactly how I've been feeling.
I'm 39 female and I had a lots of issues with my father since I could remembrer. Well i decided to forgive him because it was costing me so much of energy to hold on to that hate. Now I even feel sorry for him because I know he must hated being a bad father. But the sircumstences made him behave like an ass hole to me. I think i was his punch bag for my mother. You can hurt someone physically without hitting but hurting the person they love. I now feel i even want to find out more about him and see what was his demon. I'm stoned now but somehow what mrdevious wrote and i wrote makes sense to me, hope i understand myself tomorrow