Not All Cops Are Assholes...Some Are Just Dicks, =)

[Gothen]

Okay, so here is my new experience for the board, for this week....

Last night there was a small party at a friend's of mine. He wasn't a good friend, but I've hung out with him before, and he's a really cool guy. But, he was a good friend of a good friend of mine. Well, I had just got a twenty, plus another fat joint that equaled out to about a dime. I brought it over, and there were only 8 people or so there, at that time. All were almost 21 and they were only drinking a few beers. I brought out my sack, and they said I could break it up, I could pack it, since it was my weed. (::laughs: So, I did, and I pack it, blah blah blah. We smoke 2 bowls. At this time, I only know 1 person really well, this girl I've known since Sophomore year. She doesn't smoke any, not in the mood, and then leaves at about 9:30.
Round 10 or so, 2 of my other good friends get here and they were both drinking Mike's Hard Berry Lemonade or whatever for one girl, and the other girl was drinking Bud Light. The guys (the 7 or so of them) were drinking Keystones. It was a party, first time I'd been to one in almost a year, so I decided to go ahead and get drunk and stoned, ya know? Hasn't ever hurt me before.

So, then a few more people come (4 total) and we're all drinking and smoking bowl after bowl, beer after beer, and the music has been BLARING on their 4 2 foot speakers, these things are huge though. Very wide. We're all just dancing from tunes from every decade from the 60s to now. Finally, it's about 1:45 and we've all smoked, roughly, 8 bowls and a joint. I haven't eaten ALL day and even though I weigh 235 pounds, 3 and a half beers get me drunk. I'm able to stand, but I find I have to sorta...ya know...grab the wall, because the ground is moving too much. So, my friend who is the most sober of us all as she's only had a couple beers says she'll give me a ride home, along with another guy who is too drunk to. So, we all walk out to the car, which is about 40 feet away from the house, in a parking lot of an Italian restuarant...thingie.

[align=center]That's When Things Turned For The Worst[/align]

We get out in the car, and I have my pipe on me, and the last, small remnants of my 30 sack.

[align=center]That was mistake Number One[/align]

Anyway, this cop drives up behind us, and just sits there without his lights on, just looking at us. Then just drives away REALLY fast and turns a corner. The guy in the back (I'm riding shotgun) says, "Get da fuck OUUT of here. Seriously, let's go, right now before they come back." The girl says, "There's no WAY I'm driving with the cops around. Wait until they calm down."

[align=center]That Was Mistake Number Two[/align]

So, about 3 minutes pass when we see these headlights behind us. We're sitting here going, "Who the fuck is that, who the fuck is that?" They are kind enough to pull up beside us.

[align=center]That Was Pig Mistake Number One[/align]

IT'S THE COPS!! SO WE PULL OUT OUR GLOCKS, BUST A CAP IN D'OSE COPS' ASSES, AND DRIVE AWAY SHOOTING OUR GUYS INTO THE SKY LIKE MADMEN!!

::RECORD SCRATCHES::

That's what I'd like to say, but the truth is...

IT'S THE COPS!! So, we all take turns, let out a sigh of remorse for our sorry asses, and each shit our pants in turn starting with the driver. The cops get out and they come up to the back window (which is rolled down) and the guy points the flashlight in your faces. Just before he does, I see his picture, it's Mike, the guy who was supposed to be my brother's best friend. I go, "Mike!" He looks at me but says nothing but "What are you guys doing out here at 2 am in the morning? In a white car, just sitting here?" We explain to them that this girl here was just about to drive each of us home. They ask him if he'd been drinking tonight, which he replies, "To be truthful, yeah, I have been drinking a bit." They ask us each for IDs, and I say, "I don't have it on me, my mom has it, I don't even have a license." I don't know why I said that, because I had my ID on me right in my wallet, in my pocket.

Apparently, Mike and another cop of the three, Josh, knew my buddy. I, also, knew them from back when. Mike was my brother's best friend, and Josh lived RIGHT NEXT DOOR to me before he was a cop. This motherfucker borrowed PS2 games from me, and now, here he is, busting my balls. Anyway, Mike and the cop-in-training (that was driving with Mike, Josh had his own car) go and talk behind our car, and Josh walks up to the window and whispers really quick, "You been drinkin dumbass?" to my buddy, and he says, "Yeah...I have. Sorry, man." Then Josh says that he signaled to HQ, or whatever the fuck, that there was a suspicious white car with three people in it. He said he drove away really fast to give us a warning. He tells us he doesn't know what's going to happen to us tonight.

While they are talking, the girl looks at me and says to get rid of all the shit I have in my pockets, right now!

So, the cop-in-training tells us we're all going to have to step out of the vehicle. Asks us if we have anything in our pockets. To which we all take out all we have in our front pockets. For me, a Japanese CD I was breaking weed up on about 20 minutes ago. I tell them I have nothing in my back pockets. So, they go and get these papers they said were Search and Seizure Forms. They ask us how old we are, I say 17, girl says 17, guy says 20. Almost 21.

So, as we stand there, waiting to be told we're going to be searched, then processed for possession, possession of paraphrenalia and minor consumption, we hold our breaths. Mike looks at us and says, "So, we can't search you as you're not 17 yet, and I know **name baleted**. He's been drinking, and you two said you haven't been. I'm going to trust that you'll pass a breathlyzer if we gave you one. We're going to give you guys a break. I want to be lazy tonight, we're going to cut you guys a deal. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. ::does CHUDO-CHOP to his hand:: You guys are going to go back to that house, and you're going to stay there until morning. You're going to tell all the other kids over there drinking and smokin dope that they better stay in that house until morning." WE CAN BREATHE AGAIN! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

So, as they hand them their IDs, and tell them to get on their way, Mike does the little finger thing that says, "Come here." So, I walk over there and he says, "What are you doing? What the FUCK are you doing smoking dope? You want to be a bum your entire life?" yada yada yada This motherfucker used to come into work for McDonald's stoned every single day, that was before he was a cop, and when he was 40 pounds lighter, the fatass. ANYWAYS, so then he starts drilling me for info, actually him and Josh do. He asks me how many people are over there, I say, 9-11, maybe? Tells me to give him some names, give him some names of kids almost 21. I go, "I swear to God, dude, I don't know their names. It was my first time at this house. I don't know them!" He tells me to tell them what I've been doing tonight, "Don't lie to me. Don't you fuckin lie to me, boy. I know when you're lying!" So, I told him I'd been smoking pot. That I didn't have any on me, that it was all gone, and that there was none in the house at all that we were at.

So, in the end, he told me that I tell all those fucking dopeheads that they better flush it, get it out if it's there, get rid of it. Don't smoke it, just get rid of it. He's going to give us a break on the drinking, but if, tonight, he felt like stopping by and he so much as smelled a HINT of dope, he was going to bust in there and take all of us to county. So, I kept stammering, "Okay, I understand. I'll tell them, don't worry." I was stuttering and all that shit, not cuz I was nervous, but just because I was still so frickin' stoned and drunk.




So, as I said, not all cops are complete assholes, some are just fuckin' dicks about it.

=)

Gothen Reviewed by Gothen on 07-17-2005. Not All Cops Are Assholes...Some Are Just Dicks, =) Okay, so here is my new experience for the board, for this week.... Last night there was a small party at a friend's of mine. He wasn't a good friend, but I've hung out with him before, and he's a really cool guy. But, he was a good friend of a good friend of mine. Well, I had just got a twenty, plus another fat joint that equaled out to about a dime. I brought it over, and there were only 8 people or so there, at that time. All were almost 21 and they were only drinking a few beers. I Rating: 5

[Killa.Kali]

I dont like ANY law enforcement =\ but i do respect the ones who respect me, when cops deal with me im like a bud plant - you get out what you put in. so if cops are a dick to me ill make their jobs harder -.- be nice to me ill just be honest

[3 Sheets To The Wind]

That's a pretty cool story, nice that you got let off, but he was a bit of a dick, seeing as you know him, should have bitch slapped him and run away

[robert42]

lmao things in america are soo diff, overhere if your under 18 and caught drinkin theyll probly tell u to pour it down the drain. nothing else. if ur caught with weed as long as its under a 8th usually they let you keep it. as much as i dnt like livin here in the UK i prefer the laws :P