I won't preach but I will tell you a nice little bed time story.

A long time ago, in a far far away land, I fucked this really hot chick. It was so awesome, she was on the pill so I didn't need a condom. She was also a total nympho and was into just really hot nasty sex. I was in heaven.

About a week later I woke up one morning and proceded to take my morning piss. Instead of the usual pleasure that comes from emptying a full bladder, however, I was greeted by a sensation that I can only describe as having flaming sterno coming out of my cock. Later that day I noticed a nasty, funky, pussy goo leaking from the tip of my dick. Every time I pissed I'd get the flamin sterno and it got to the point where I became dehydrated because I was afraid to drink anything and have to piss it out.

Well, this simply wouldn't do so I went to the doc. He told me I probably had Chlamydia but wanted to take a swab to be sure. Let me tell you folks, this was really the best part. He took a long fuckin q-tip and then shoves the god damn thing like 2 inches up into my dick. Yes that's right, a q-tip up that little hole I'd been pissing the flamin sterno out of. Sound like fun yet?

Turns out the doc was right, I had Chlamydia. Fortunately this was before AIDS was really prevelant so that's all I got. Anyhow, he gave me some medication and it cleared up after a bit. After that I always wore condoms and lived happily ever after.

The End