I used to have a boss that was sort of a ??wiseguy? type ?? although the business was, on the surface, ??legitimate?, they were involved with loansharking and gambling. The guy was in his 30??s, and owned a racehorse (probably gave it performance-enhancing dope).

He was talking on the phone one day to a secretary, whom he??d never met, and asked her for a date. She accepts, and that weekend he drives out to her house and her mother answers the door. She calls to her daughter, and down comes ??the fattest person you??ve ever seen!? Well, it was too late to try to get out of it, so he figured that getting it over as quickly as possible would be best. Before they leave, the girl??s mother starts giving him lectures and warnings, ??You??d betta bring my daughter back-a home early?, etc.!

On the way to the movies, she makes him stop for some hot dogs at a fast-food place. Naturally, she has to eat multiple portions of almost everything they had.

The whole evening, he was nervous that he??d see someone he knew. He wasn??t shy about telling the story to make people laugh, though. The LAST thing in the world that the girl??s mama had to worry about was his trying to seduce her, or spend more time with her than he had to LOL.