I collect favorite quotes...what exactly are you looking for?

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."
Will Rogers.


"Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift" ... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git."
Alexai Sayle


"A fool and his money are soon elected."
Will Rogers.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. ~Dave Barry

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness', but it doesn't work.
~Gallagher

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
-- Sir Norman Wisdom


this ones funny if you add your own commentary ....

I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.
-- George W. Bush

AS opposed to the Canadians that just waved their middle finger...LMAO

One of my favorite....
There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors.
-- Jim Morrison....I just love that one....