why in his bed?
sneak up on him while he's sleeping....cram it down his throat.
by the time he wakes up (which he won't if you punch him in the temple) it's too late and he's got a tapeworm. i hear those things lay like MILLIONS of eggs in their hosts digestive tract. that would be some fucked up shit to have like as many tapeworms in your shit as there are people in the united states....
i'm going to throw up.