Dude, there was this special on viruses and parasites on TLC a couple years ago. Well, one segment was this couple went down to Middle America, Brazil. They ate at this little family owned restaurant or whatever. It was pretty big though. 2 stories, or whatever.

Anyway, they get back to America and the guy gets the shits BIG time. And the wife is so sick she's puking everywhere and they both have the shits, actually. So bad, they had to have one use the toilet and one the tub. Well, anyway, they had the food analyzed (doggie bagged it or something) It had human feces in it.
Anyway, one time while the guy was on the shitter, he saw something coming out of his ass, ya know? Like, it looked slimy, and flat, and long, really long. He started pulling on it, and he said it just kept coming and coming. THey measured it at 30 feet +. It was in his intestined and all.

It covered most of his entire gastrointestinal tract.

That...is my story.