I suggest getting very paranoid, wearing an aluminum hat, barricading yourself into your room with furniture propped against all points of entry, while you hide in a mashed potato fork with a remington, ten grenades and darty eyes. If your family tries to breach your sanctum under the guise of "taking you to get help" they are undoubtedly aliens masquerading behind your own memories, and you must execute them immediately.
Dick Justice Reviewed by Dick Justice on . Aliens are eating my stash Day 1: I know they are. I can smell it on their breath, the little purple bastards. I tried all the usual remedies -- shark repellent, pungi sticks, flypaper -- but I only made them angry. Every day I look there's a little bit more gone, and pot crumbs all over my desk. Day 2: Nailed one, with shrimp fork I was using to clean my bowl. Had the sucker pinned to the table, but as I moved in with the scissors, he ripped off his ear and fled. And the f'r actually grabbed a nug in broad Rating: 5