Aliens are eating my stash

[BUZz UK]

Day 1:

I know they are. I can smell it on their breath, the little purple bastards. I tried all the usual remedies -- shark repellent, pungi sticks, flypaper -- but I only made them angry. Every day I look there's a little bit more gone, and pot crumbs all over my desk.

Day 2:

Nailed one, with shrimp fork I was using to clean my bowl. Had the sucker pinned to the table, but as I moved in with the scissors, he ripped off his ear and fled. And the f'r actually grabbed a nug in broad nightlight while I was sitting their vegging with a stony stare.

Dat 3:

My bag is gone and I'm really high. There's a bud stuffed in my nose, a calling card of the alien mafia I fear. Checked the growroom and saw that they had manicured my plants without my permission, topping 2. Bastards. I hope you die and rot in wherever you guys go to rot.

Come back if you dare -- I got a double-barreled shotgun full of M&M's, and I'm ready to blast you into a sugary sweet oblivion.

But anyways, that's not what I wanted to ask. What I wanted to ask IS "Do you think I'm crazy or are there really aliens chowing down on my stash?"

lmao, hahahaha, that was hilarious....

[thechronic]

lol

[ballin4Real]

what the fuck r u on faggot and give me sum bitch share with the class

[Oli]

yer right. I'll just wrap my stash in Aluminum Wrap, that oughta foil them

Ouch, that pun was fucking awful, you should be ashamed of yourself.

[ezjim]

i would get a dog maybe one of them lil ankle munching breeds they are pretty quick and train em to guard your garden just make sure you gaive it a doggy treat every time he brings ya one of the little weed snatchers or he might go insurgent on you

[Bunkyhope]

...alright, so the plan is this. get a jar (nuthing to big, nuthing to small, just ur average alien sized jar)...put a decent bud in the bottom, one thats suuure to grab their attention...now the next bits the sneaky part...u put BUTTER (or lube, whichever is closest) around the inside rim of the jar...so the purple fucknuts jump in after ur weed only to find the walls are to slippery to climb out of!! thats how i caught my alien...his name is alf...hes my friend ... oh wait, maybe that was an 80's tv show ...fuck... ill get back to you on that...

[OR Freebird]

...alright, so the plan is this. get a jar (nuthing to big, nuthing to small, just ur average alien sized jar)...put a decent bud in the bottom, one thats suuure to grab their attention...now the next bits the sneaky part...u put BUTTER (or lube, whichever is closest) around the inside rim of the jar...so the purple fucknuts jump in after ur weed only to find the walls are to slippery to climb out of!! thats how i caught my alien...his name is alf...hes my friend ... oh wait, maybe that was an 80's tv show ...fuck... ill get back to you on that...

I like a man with a plan. I think I'll substitute silicon spray for butter -- if it works, I'll post a pic

[Dick Justice]

I suggest getting very paranoid, wearing an aluminum hat, barricading yourself into your room with furniture propped against all points of entry, while you hide in a mashed potato fork with a remington, ten grenades and darty eyes. If your family tries to breach your sanctum under the guise of "taking you to get help" they are undoubtedly aliens masquerading behind your own memories, and you must execute them immediately.

[w4terb0ng]

lol...

don't forget to bring a towel.

[The Piper]

yer right. I'll just wrap my stash in Aluminum Wrap, that oughta foil them

haha wtf