Make me laugh - Add a joke or cartoon

[smokey]

read this in a blokes mag
i saw michael jackson in tescos at the weekend with a trolley full of dairylea
i said yo michael what the hell u doing with all tht dairylea
he replied "well u know kids will do anything for dairylea"

smokey Reviewed by smokey on 06-21-2005. Make me laugh - Add a joke or cartoon Let's all lighten up (pun intended) ... Use this thread to post your favorite joke or cartoon that you want us to see. Cmon, dare you, make me laugh. I don't know a lot of good jokes, so I'm going with a cartoon. Rating: 5

[NoosaHeads]

Whats the difference between a Mail box and a donkeys asshole.>?

somones supposed to say.
I dunno what.

then i say well im not getting you to post any letters for me then.....

[NowhereMan]

A man walks into a bar and orders 7 shots of vodka. "Why so much alcohol?" the bartender asks. " I had my first blowjob today", he tells the bartender. "Congratulations!, in that case have another shot on the house says the bartender. So the man says, "Thats alright, if 7 doesn't get the taste out nothing will."

that was just plain funny even if ya re run it

thsi is no joke but its pretty funny for real life

Boozing Bear Throws His Own Party
Posted 6/14/2005 01:47 PM

The bear ripped through a Summit Lake campsite, eating two campers' food and three beers.
Story by The Associated Press
It sounds like something you'd see in a commercial.
Two brothers camping at Summit Lake near Richwood last Friday had to cut their trip short after a black bear ate their food and guzzled their beer.
Dunbar resident Larry Gaynor said the bear dragged the cooler about 30 yards into the woods and flung it against a tree, scattering a case of Coors Light.
The bear drank three cans.
Gaynor said it's a good thing the beer wasn't Budweiser or the bear would have downed all of them.
http://www.wowktv.com/story.cfm?func...y&storyid=3364
see man i wasnt joking

[Lily420]

here is a freaky one for ya

WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!! Dat is awesum!!!!

[OR Freebird]

Tiger Woods is having a tough day on the course. He can't quite seem sink his putts, they keep curving to the left.

His caddy looks at him and says, "Hey, Tiger, it looks like you're pulling your putts"

Tiger looks at him and says, "Nah, I'm just trying to get my pencil out of my pocket."

[Marko123]

[QUOTE=mellow mood]heres a good one: what does a stoner take when hes broke? he drinks listerine

I was not expecting that one. Very, very fuuny.

[muncheemama]

somones supposed to say.
I dunno what.

then i say well im not getting you to post any letters for me then.....

I dunno, what?

[Cheery Cherry]

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?" The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You've Got Male!"

[Zero Revolt]

Cheery Cherry if that's your ass in that avatar I think I'm in love.

[pez]

ok, i love jokes as much as the next guy but most are not realistic, here are some of the more realistic versions of some jokes/ jokes w/ realistic endings:

What's the difference between the Pope and Michael Jackson?
The Pope is dead

What do you get when you're gay?
Made fun of.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a centipede?
A media circus about the debate over the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

How do you drown a blonde?
Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops struggling.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Repeated absences and stealing.

Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work?
He was weird.

What's the difference between a post box and a vagina?
A post box is a public container for the deposit of outgoing mail, and a vagina is the passage leading from the opening of the vulva to the cervix of the uterus in female mammals.

Why do Mexicans not like going out in the rain?
It's wet.

A Blonde and a Brunette jump off a tall building at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
Both of them hit the ground at the same time. Hair colour doesn't affect acceleration due to gravity.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.

Why was six afraid of seven?
It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house?
You don't, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your neighbors saw him. I wouldn't worry about it, really.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
Because she was blind and deaf.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A Jew is a person adhering to the Jewish faith and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, usually circular bread covered with tomato sauce and cheese with optional garnishes.

What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
An embarrassing situation

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
She was a schizophrenic

How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag.
One is a famous singer songwriter facing charges of child molestation and the other's a shopping bag