Honey my heart is breaking for you You need to give yourself a little breather. You sound like you've been through a really awful time. You need people to love and who'll love you back and support you through this. You're not going to get that from him. He's obviously hurting just like you.

Hang up your worries for a little while, you're 14years of age. Try new stuff, get involved in sport, or martial arts. Get yourself fit, work out - you won't regret it. But give yourself some options. Think big! Where do you wanna be in 6years time, believe me, time flies......... You can be whatever you want, you just have to want it badly enough. Give yourself a dream, you'll find the way - you don't sound like a dumb kid

You had a rocky start is all. No problem just a few waves, Best of luck babe I'll be thinking bout ye